I wrote earlier today that I needed to call Hospice to see if I should try to give Dad his meds while he was still sleeping. The nurse on call said yes, though it may wake him up. We did, but Dad did not wake up. Steve then left, and we were sorry to see him go.
After a few more hours, I thought maybe Dad is now comatose, as he was not responding to our voices. When his next dose of meds was due, I gave it to him, but he did not swallow it (a tiny bit of liquid). Shortly afterwards, he did a little coughing and gurgling started. I was afraid he was going to choke, so Dave raised the head of the bed and tried to swab out Dad's mouth, but the gurgling would not stop. I called Hospice again, and they sent a nurse to see him. Vivian said he was not choking, what we were hearing is commonly known as the "death rattle," caused by normal end-of-life secretions. She opened some new medicine from his Hospice Comfort Pack and gave him a few drops which may help dry the secretions, and she also gave him his next round of morphine.
She checked him and said he is in his final stage - he is "actively dying." He has signs his circulation is shutting down, and although he is easily getting air, his chest muscles are not doing his breathing for him, his belly muscles are. There are other things I won't detail, but it is all so sad.
She told us to continue the morphine, and to look for any facial frowning, as that will mean he is not comfortable. Obviously, he cannot speak, but he may be able to hear, so I make sure I tell him I love him often.
Vivian said her best guess is that Dad has 1-3 days left. I am so glad he finally has relaxed and seems to be at peace.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday - Again
Now it's Sunday morning and I thought I'd catch up a little about Saturday. As I mentioned, Steve had a rough Friday night because Dad had a rough night. I wrote a few days ago that if we had to choose between Dad having pain & delusions or being comatose, we would choose comatose. In an effort to get the amount of drugs right, we've increased them dramatically over the last few days but Dad is not comatose, and continues to roll back and forth, hit his chest, grab out for something to hold onto, and go in and out of lucidity. I know Hospice (and we) do not want to overdose, but it seems to be taking FOREVER to get Dad to a state of relaxation and sleep. Friday night he slept well for only 6 hours and yesterday he had a 5 hour nap, but otherwise he was either awake or in that restless, rolling, talking semi-sleep.
He had awakened from his nap about 6 PM yesterday and again went through hours of being awake and being in the semi-sleep. He did not start to sleep soundly until 1 AM this morning. It's now been 7 hours of relief for us, meaning we know he must be more comfortable. I was with Steve until 9:30 last night, and Dad was so restless we gave him his next set of drugs about midnight (I came to help, as it is a 2 person job, especially when you are dog-tired). I stayed until Dad fell asleep at 1. Steve was up several times after that checking on him.
Now our question is, do we wake him up to give him his meds, or let him sleep? I'm going to call Hospice to find out. I can't imagine waking him up when he finally is sleeping, but maybe he needs that continuous application. Many of the questions we have do not occur to us until we NEED to know - we don't think of all the possible situations ahead of time.
He had awakened from his nap about 6 PM yesterday and again went through hours of being awake and being in the semi-sleep. He did not start to sleep soundly until 1 AM this morning. It's now been 7 hours of relief for us, meaning we know he must be more comfortable. I was with Steve until 9:30 last night, and Dad was so restless we gave him his next set of drugs about midnight (I came to help, as it is a 2 person job, especially when you are dog-tired). I stayed until Dad fell asleep at 1. Steve was up several times after that checking on him.
Now our question is, do we wake him up to give him his meds, or let him sleep? I'm going to call Hospice to find out. I can't imagine waking him up when he finally is sleeping, but maybe he needs that continuous application. Many of the questions we have do not occur to us until we NEED to know - we don't think of all the possible situations ahead of time.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday - A Delay
Sorry, loyal followers, I am too tired to think straight tonight. Steve had night duty last night and it wasn't easy, then Dave and Steve were with Dad most of the day while I dealt with our tardy and drugged painter. The best part of my day was this evening when I went trick-or-treating with a little monkey and a Ninja.
I was waiting to leave Dad's until he fell asleep, which was at 9:30. I HOPE he's asleep for a good long while, but my gut feel is that he seems to be a little too restless. Steve will call us when he (Dad) wakes up so we can do the medication routine again. Sweet dreams.
I was waiting to leave Dad's until he fell asleep, which was at 9:30. I HOPE he's asleep for a good long while, but my gut feel is that he seems to be a little too restless. Steve will call us when he (Dad) wakes up so we can do the medication routine again. Sweet dreams.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday - Steve Arrives
Dave was on duty last night. Dad slept from about 10 PM to 4 AM. When he woke up, he was again agitated for hours. I came over about 7 AM and talked to him a little, then a little while later he asked what time it was. Dave told him "7:15" and I added "in the morning." Dad gave a big sigh, then fell right asleep. It was as though he was satisfied he made it to another day. He really does not like to sleep at night - this has been going on for weeks. Beth says it's a fairly common phenomenon, as many people believe they will die in their sleep, so they try not to sleep - at night. They are more comfortable taking "naps" in the daytime.
I know I tend to analyze and analyze. I can't help but wonder what we can do to help Dad, and I think if I could only understand what was going on, we could make it easier for him. Maybe not, but I want to try.
Dad slept for 5 hours, and woke up at 12:30, just has his massage therapist arrived. He wanted to sit up. Trina oiled up her hands with a luscious smelling rosemary cream, and she worked mostly on his back. He was confused, as he liked it, but kept asking, Why are you doing this to me? He finally relaxed, laid down and Trina was massaging his scalp when Jessica the nursing assistant arrived. Charisse is still out with a hurt back.
Jessica was very nice to Dad, and very efficient, but didn't spend the time Charisse does. Dad was all clean, his sheets were changed, he got new morphine patches and his thorazine. He kept asking where he was, and saying please don't hurt me (me: boo hoo) though of course Jessica and Trina were very gentle with him. I think when his pain meds wear off, he is just a mess. Fortunately the meds kicked in pretty quickly and he fell asleep. He hasn't moved for 7 hours now. We can hear him breathing here in the living room.
Steve arrived - hooray - the same time as Jessica, so he got to see how the bathing, sheet changing and medication is done. He and Dave stayed here this afternoon while I went out to do a few errands. We had the Harry & David chicken pot pie sent by David for dinner tonight. Here's a recommendation - when someone needs comfort food, this is it! The crust was delicious, and it was FULL of chicken - no peas - just the way I like it. It came with a package of chicken gravy, too. Thanks, David.
Steve brought his homemade beef jerky, Rita sent some goodies, including some cranberry bread and brie cheese. I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow! Oh, there is also a vegetable soup. I guess that will be dinner! Thanks, Rita.
We've put clean sheets on Steve's bed and gave him all the instructions we can think of, but most importantly he has our phone number. When Dad does wake up, he will need his new doses of meds, and it's too hard for one person to do it now. He knows to call us!
Molly, Chad and the boys stopped by earlier. They rented a golf cart for the weekend - all the Trick-or-Treating is done by golf cart here to avoid traffic jams in the one section of our development that goes all out for Halloween. The boys had their Halloween parade at school today, so they are READY for trick-or-treating.
As I'm wrapping this up for the day, we have the WVU-UConn game on, but we just heard Dad, so now it really is time to stop.
PS I hadn't pushed the Publish button, so here is the follow-up. It's been an hour since Dad woke up. He got his meds, and he was saying Food, Food, Food, so we brought out the Jello, pudding and some jars of baby food fruit. He ate more than we've seen him eat in the last 5 days put together! He also had a fair amount of water. We actually were concerned he'd get a stomach ache, as he ate about a cup of food, whereas he's been eating a few spoonfuls a day. Another rally. Dad is a very tough guy. He is lying down again, but talking to Charlie (?).
I know I tend to analyze and analyze. I can't help but wonder what we can do to help Dad, and I think if I could only understand what was going on, we could make it easier for him. Maybe not, but I want to try.
Dad slept for 5 hours, and woke up at 12:30, just has his massage therapist arrived. He wanted to sit up. Trina oiled up her hands with a luscious smelling rosemary cream, and she worked mostly on his back. He was confused, as he liked it, but kept asking, Why are you doing this to me? He finally relaxed, laid down and Trina was massaging his scalp when Jessica the nursing assistant arrived. Charisse is still out with a hurt back.
Jessica was very nice to Dad, and very efficient, but didn't spend the time Charisse does. Dad was all clean, his sheets were changed, he got new morphine patches and his thorazine. He kept asking where he was, and saying please don't hurt me (me: boo hoo) though of course Jessica and Trina were very gentle with him. I think when his pain meds wear off, he is just a mess. Fortunately the meds kicked in pretty quickly and he fell asleep. He hasn't moved for 7 hours now. We can hear him breathing here in the living room.
Steve arrived - hooray - the same time as Jessica, so he got to see how the bathing, sheet changing and medication is done. He and Dave stayed here this afternoon while I went out to do a few errands. We had the Harry & David chicken pot pie sent by David for dinner tonight. Here's a recommendation - when someone needs comfort food, this is it! The crust was delicious, and it was FULL of chicken - no peas - just the way I like it. It came with a package of chicken gravy, too. Thanks, David.
Steve brought his homemade beef jerky, Rita sent some goodies, including some cranberry bread and brie cheese. I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow! Oh, there is also a vegetable soup. I guess that will be dinner! Thanks, Rita.
We've put clean sheets on Steve's bed and gave him all the instructions we can think of, but most importantly he has our phone number. When Dad does wake up, he will need his new doses of meds, and it's too hard for one person to do it now. He knows to call us!
Molly, Chad and the boys stopped by earlier. They rented a golf cart for the weekend - all the Trick-or-Treating is done by golf cart here to avoid traffic jams in the one section of our development that goes all out for Halloween. The boys had their Halloween parade at school today, so they are READY for trick-or-treating.
As I'm wrapping this up for the day, we have the WVU-UConn game on, but we just heard Dad, so now it really is time to stop.
PS I hadn't pushed the Publish button, so here is the follow-up. It's been an hour since Dad woke up. He got his meds, and he was saying Food, Food, Food, so we brought out the Jello, pudding and some jars of baby food fruit. He ate more than we've seen him eat in the last 5 days put together! He also had a fair amount of water. We actually were concerned he'd get a stomach ache, as he ate about a cup of food, whereas he's been eating a few spoonfuls a day. Another rally. Dad is a very tough guy. He is lying down again, but talking to Charlie (?).
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday - Relief
Dad has been sleeping soundly for almost 4 hours - finally. He has been extremely restless, having terrible delusions, and bad dreams. After I wrote my blog entry last night, he told me I had to find a way to kill him, that he couldn't live this way any longer. I had very mixed emotions. Of course there was no way in the world I could have killed him, but in a sense, I was relieved to know he knew the end was near and he wanted it to come sooner rather than later. The most troubling to me was how upset he was. I gave him his dose of anti-anxiety medication, then 2 hours later his anti-psychotic medication and his morphine. He fell into a deep sleep that lasted 6 hours. I slept well, too. Then at 5 AM he was yelling for help. He thought he was in a box, he referred to it as a tomb one time, full of snakes. I got him calmed down, but the restlessness and agitation went on all day. He wanted to sit up, but would get so exhausted he had to lie down, but he couldn't sleep. Then he wanted to sit up ...
He ate one bite of pudding and had less than a cup of water all day. We know he's getting parched, and I keep giving him eye droppers of water, but it's hard to get him to swallow. It's not that he can't swallow, it's more that he forgets to. I tell him to swallow but it's hard for him to follow instructions. He does not ask for food or water, except occasionally he says he wants a hamburger.
This afternoon he had more pain than we've seen, curling up and moaning, so Dave called Hospice again. They gave us directions to greatly increase his morphine, and Beth came right over with suppositories for the anti-psychotic medicine (so he could relax and would quit seeing snakes, bugs, his friend Johnny that died - and evidently left behind in WWII - people in the room watching him, etc.) He fell asleep after the morphine, so we have yet to use the thorazine.
Beth told us our choice is between Dad having pain and hallucinations, or perhaps being comatose. We are choosing comatose, though he is not there yet. I should say we will choose comatose if that's all we can do to relieve his pain.
Chad stopped by tonight. He told us a few interesting things, like patients with this same "terminal agitation" often yell out things but he's not convinced they believe it themselves. That reminded me that when Dad would say he's stuck, and I told him he's not, that he is free, he had enough sense to recognize I was giving him "psychological sh*t." :-) Several times, he asked me who those people are in his room. Mostly I would say, There's no one here, just me." Yesterday I said, "They are angels." He turned to me and said, "Horsesh*t."
He can be delusional, but the second I make up a story, he recognizes it!
I don't know if he had a friend named Johnny that died and was left behind somewhere during the war, but I do know the concept is a nightmare for Dad. I constantly reassure him we are with him and will not leave him alone.
I told Chad about Dad's minimal intake of food and water. He said dehydration can result in a type of euphoria rather than distress. I just googled "dehydration near death" and the few articles I read have made me feel better about it. Information is good. Lack of information is scary.
Since starting this, Dad woke up, I did my first suppository planting (sure hope I got it right!), talked to Steve about his visit tomorrow, and Dave is talking to Dad trying to get him calm and restful for the evening. I need to go help.
He ate one bite of pudding and had less than a cup of water all day. We know he's getting parched, and I keep giving him eye droppers of water, but it's hard to get him to swallow. It's not that he can't swallow, it's more that he forgets to. I tell him to swallow but it's hard for him to follow instructions. He does not ask for food or water, except occasionally he says he wants a hamburger.
This afternoon he had more pain than we've seen, curling up and moaning, so Dave called Hospice again. They gave us directions to greatly increase his morphine, and Beth came right over with suppositories for the anti-psychotic medicine (so he could relax and would quit seeing snakes, bugs, his friend Johnny that died - and evidently left behind in WWII - people in the room watching him, etc.) He fell asleep after the morphine, so we have yet to use the thorazine.
Beth told us our choice is between Dad having pain and hallucinations, or perhaps being comatose. We are choosing comatose, though he is not there yet. I should say we will choose comatose if that's all we can do to relieve his pain.
Chad stopped by tonight. He told us a few interesting things, like patients with this same "terminal agitation" often yell out things but he's not convinced they believe it themselves. That reminded me that when Dad would say he's stuck, and I told him he's not, that he is free, he had enough sense to recognize I was giving him "psychological sh*t." :-) Several times, he asked me who those people are in his room. Mostly I would say, There's no one here, just me." Yesterday I said, "They are angels." He turned to me and said, "Horsesh*t."
He can be delusional, but the second I make up a story, he recognizes it!
I don't know if he had a friend named Johnny that died and was left behind somewhere during the war, but I do know the concept is a nightmare for Dad. I constantly reassure him we are with him and will not leave him alone.
I told Chad about Dad's minimal intake of food and water. He said dehydration can result in a type of euphoria rather than distress. I just googled "dehydration near death" and the few articles I read have made me feel better about it. Information is good. Lack of information is scary.
Since starting this, Dad woke up, I did my first suppository planting (sure hope I got it right!), talked to Steve about his visit tomorrow, and Dave is talking to Dad trying to get him calm and restful for the evening. I need to go help.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wednesday - Worrisome Agitation
Dad (and Dave) had a tough night last night. From midnight to 4 AM Dad was very agitated, kicking off his covers, wanting to take off his t-shirt and pants, asking for a knife to cut away his clothes -- he believed he was caught, and stuck on barbed wire or something, and he could not get away. Sometimes he thought he was in a prison. Even after getting his meds, it took quite a while for him to calm down and sleep again.
When I came over at 8 in the morning, he sat on the side of the bed and we administered his morning pills (crushing them and putting them in water). He then easily let me feed him half a bowl of Cream of Wheat. He was tired, so we got him situated in bed (which involves getting him to lie down then moving him up towards the head of the bed using a sheet under him, as he cannot move himself - at 6' tall he needs to have his head only a few inches from the top. It's difficult for the two of us to move him.) He talked and half-slept for only an hour before he wanted up again.
He was still kicking off his covers, trying to rip away his shirt, and wanted scissors to cut his pants. I had to wonder if this dream was metaphorically related to being stuck on Earth (call me crazy). I told him that being stuck is only in his mind, that he really is free, that he needs to concentrate on happy thoughts and don't think he is stuck. I am saying all this as he is pulling at this shirt, moaning (but breathing fine, he was not gasping for breath), and telling me to help him get free. Finally, he says to me, Don't give me that psychological sh*t.
I gave him a good wash up, including shampoo, and he seemed very relaxed, until he laid down again. He talked and talked, sometimes aware I was there, sometimes when I thought he didn't notice, I left for a little while until I heard him talking louder.
At 2 PM our Hospice nurse Beth arrived. Since Dad hadn't had a BM for 6 days (though he has eaten hardly anything) she needed to alleviate that problem. Fortunately Dad was very cooperative. He kept asking for a doctor, though, as he felt we didn't know what we were doing. Eventually, the conversation came around to his dying. Beth was very sensitive and let Dad lead the conversation.
We finally got him settled back in bed, calm and with his covers - until Beth left, and the same agitation started all over again. Keep in mind, Dad had not slept soundly since midnight, and he normally takes a good long nap mid-morning and in the afternoon.
I sat with him longer - Other than when Beth was here, I was at his side virtually all day. This time he wanted me to give him a gun so he could shoot himself. He was actually the most lucid I had heard him in days. He said it was his plan to shoot himself if he was sick, but he let this sickness go too long and now he is too weak to get his gun. He told me Dave and I should give him his gun, then leave the room, then no one will know who to blame when it's all over. I've been telling him I don't have a gun, and he's going to have to let his life run its course. He says he will have to think of some other way.
He had his 'dinner' of pears and pudding and his evening pills, but has been restless ever since. We called Hospice to see what can be done, and they suggested we increase his anti-anxiety medication. I tell you what, it's hard enough to see Dad in this physically declining state, but to have him so agitated he can't sleep, with the awful dreams, makes it even harder. I have another 30 minutes before I can give him his next dose, so I'll go talk to him for a while longer.
When I came over at 8 in the morning, he sat on the side of the bed and we administered his morning pills (crushing them and putting them in water). He then easily let me feed him half a bowl of Cream of Wheat. He was tired, so we got him situated in bed (which involves getting him to lie down then moving him up towards the head of the bed using a sheet under him, as he cannot move himself - at 6' tall he needs to have his head only a few inches from the top. It's difficult for the two of us to move him.) He talked and half-slept for only an hour before he wanted up again.
He was still kicking off his covers, trying to rip away his shirt, and wanted scissors to cut his pants. I had to wonder if this dream was metaphorically related to being stuck on Earth (call me crazy). I told him that being stuck is only in his mind, that he really is free, that he needs to concentrate on happy thoughts and don't think he is stuck. I am saying all this as he is pulling at this shirt, moaning (but breathing fine, he was not gasping for breath), and telling me to help him get free. Finally, he says to me, Don't give me that psychological sh*t.
I gave him a good wash up, including shampoo, and he seemed very relaxed, until he laid down again. He talked and talked, sometimes aware I was there, sometimes when I thought he didn't notice, I left for a little while until I heard him talking louder.
At 2 PM our Hospice nurse Beth arrived. Since Dad hadn't had a BM for 6 days (though he has eaten hardly anything) she needed to alleviate that problem. Fortunately Dad was very cooperative. He kept asking for a doctor, though, as he felt we didn't know what we were doing. Eventually, the conversation came around to his dying. Beth was very sensitive and let Dad lead the conversation.
We finally got him settled back in bed, calm and with his covers - until Beth left, and the same agitation started all over again. Keep in mind, Dad had not slept soundly since midnight, and he normally takes a good long nap mid-morning and in the afternoon.
I sat with him longer - Other than when Beth was here, I was at his side virtually all day. This time he wanted me to give him a gun so he could shoot himself. He was actually the most lucid I had heard him in days. He said it was his plan to shoot himself if he was sick, but he let this sickness go too long and now he is too weak to get his gun. He told me Dave and I should give him his gun, then leave the room, then no one will know who to blame when it's all over. I've been telling him I don't have a gun, and he's going to have to let his life run its course. He says he will have to think of some other way.
He had his 'dinner' of pears and pudding and his evening pills, but has been restless ever since. We called Hospice to see what can be done, and they suggested we increase his anti-anxiety medication. I tell you what, it's hard enough to see Dad in this physically declining state, but to have him so agitated he can't sleep, with the awful dreams, makes it even harder. I have another 30 minutes before I can give him his next dose, so I'll go talk to him for a while longer.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday - Wash and Wax
Well truth be told there was no waxing done today, but Dad did have his bed bath. Charisse had hurt her back with another client (easy to see how that is possible) so we had Kim today. Dad was very happy with her care, especially when she cleaned, creamed and powdered his back. The massage therapist that was here last week called to see if Dad would like a more comprehensive service, though they cannot do much with Dad's issues, so I said yes, without consulting him. She's coming Friday. Dad tends to say no, but I am positive he would enjoy another back rub.
Dad was in bed again today, with just a few moments of sitting up on the side of the bed. We are finding it more difficult to get food or water in him. He says he wants something, but then objects when I try to give it to him. I give him the tiniest sip of water and he fusses at me for choking him. Tonight I put a straw in his mouth and said to take as much or as little as he wanted. It took time, but he finally managed to swallow a few sips.
We have to crush his pills, and I'm not sure he's getting the full amount. Tonight I gave him a couple of spoonfuls of orange Jello and Cool Whip which he liked. Then I gave him two more bites, but each had a crushed pill mixed in. He told me it tasted like sh*t. His sense of taste hasn't changed!
He now has a patch on his arm for his morphine, and we can give him boosters of liquid morphine. His urine output has decreased and it is darker.
Dad had a nice conversation with Grandpa early this morning (sometime after 3 AM). He said, Hi Dad. Yep, I'm cooking steaks. Steaks are easy to cook on the grill in my estimation. These are good looking steaks. And look at those watermelons - we're having an early season this year. Man those are good, sweet watermelons. We've been watching that patch over at Jefferson and Holly (? not sure of what name that was).
Please don't think I am making fun of Dad and his hallucinations or dreams or whatever they are. Actually, I'm very happy Dad is enjoying his time with Grandpa. Another time this morning he was talking to Bill (? don't know who that is) about strawberries, and how much he loves strawberries, and he also talked to Steve somebody and I think it was his friend Steve Lloyd.
When he is awake, Dad's conversation is not as coherent as in his dreams. I keep thinking if he has a few good minutes I'll make a quick call to Uncle Jack, but he seems to be the most lucid early in the morning. This morning about 6:30 when he was pretty good I mentioned maybe we can call Jack later and he said, Good. Then he said to get him paper and envelopes and stamps and he'll write him a letter. I asked what he wanted me to write, and he said, It seems like a long life, but it's not.
Mom left today. She kept saying she didn't help much, but you know there was never a dirty dish or messy kitchen while she was here. Plus, she made our dinners and salads which is always a relief for me. Best of all, she kept Dad laughing, which is a real skill. I don't do that so well. Tonight Dad told me he was a tough guy, and I repeated, yep you're a real tough guy (I sincerely meant it), and he told me not to be snotty. Sorry!
Dave's best friend Jimmy was here tonight, and we ate Mom's left over chicken soup, combined with some I ran over and got from Molly (since I was afraid there wasn't enough). It was a delicious dinner, and it was nice for Dave to have his buddy visiting.
I'm headed home for the evening, and leaving Dave with a zonked out Dad. I hope they both sleep well tonight!
Dad has been in this house 6 months to the day. He got his diagnosis of metastatic cancer a month ago. I'm glad he enjoyed his first 5 months!
Dad was in bed again today, with just a few moments of sitting up on the side of the bed. We are finding it more difficult to get food or water in him. He says he wants something, but then objects when I try to give it to him. I give him the tiniest sip of water and he fusses at me for choking him. Tonight I put a straw in his mouth and said to take as much or as little as he wanted. It took time, but he finally managed to swallow a few sips.
We have to crush his pills, and I'm not sure he's getting the full amount. Tonight I gave him a couple of spoonfuls of orange Jello and Cool Whip which he liked. Then I gave him two more bites, but each had a crushed pill mixed in. He told me it tasted like sh*t. His sense of taste hasn't changed!
He now has a patch on his arm for his morphine, and we can give him boosters of liquid morphine. His urine output has decreased and it is darker.
Dad had a nice conversation with Grandpa early this morning (sometime after 3 AM). He said, Hi Dad. Yep, I'm cooking steaks. Steaks are easy to cook on the grill in my estimation. These are good looking steaks. And look at those watermelons - we're having an early season this year. Man those are good, sweet watermelons. We've been watching that patch over at Jefferson and Holly (? not sure of what name that was).
Please don't think I am making fun of Dad and his hallucinations or dreams or whatever they are. Actually, I'm very happy Dad is enjoying his time with Grandpa. Another time this morning he was talking to Bill (? don't know who that is) about strawberries, and how much he loves strawberries, and he also talked to Steve somebody and I think it was his friend Steve Lloyd.
When he is awake, Dad's conversation is not as coherent as in his dreams. I keep thinking if he has a few good minutes I'll make a quick call to Uncle Jack, but he seems to be the most lucid early in the morning. This morning about 6:30 when he was pretty good I mentioned maybe we can call Jack later and he said, Good. Then he said to get him paper and envelopes and stamps and he'll write him a letter. I asked what he wanted me to write, and he said, It seems like a long life, but it's not.
Mom left today. She kept saying she didn't help much, but you know there was never a dirty dish or messy kitchen while she was here. Plus, she made our dinners and salads which is always a relief for me. Best of all, she kept Dad laughing, which is a real skill. I don't do that so well. Tonight Dad told me he was a tough guy, and I repeated, yep you're a real tough guy (I sincerely meant it), and he told me not to be snotty. Sorry!
Dave's best friend Jimmy was here tonight, and we ate Mom's left over chicken soup, combined with some I ran over and got from Molly (since I was afraid there wasn't enough). It was a delicious dinner, and it was nice for Dave to have his buddy visiting.
I'm headed home for the evening, and leaving Dave with a zonked out Dad. I hope they both sleep well tonight!
Dad has been in this house 6 months to the day. He got his diagnosis of metastatic cancer a month ago. I'm glad he enjoyed his first 5 months!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday - Pill Crushing
There were pluses and minuses today. First (as always) the sleep report. Dad slept well for 8 hours, then was awake from 3 AM - 5 AM. Dave finally got him back to sleep, but he did his sleeping-talking routine until he was up again at 9 AM. At that point, he ate almost half a package of Instant Cream of Wheat, which was more at one sitting than he's had in 3 days. He had a couple hours nap, then Nurse Beth arrived. She usually comes on Tuesday, but since we had called Hospice about Dad having trouble swallowing, she came to see him.
We're going to change his morphine pills to a patch, and she said we could crush the rest of his pills, and put them in pudding, or whatever he can swallow.
Although Dad did sit up today with his legs hanging over the side, he did not get out of bed except for a minute. He insisted upon standing up, and we thought he wanted to get on the commode. (As an aside, I always hesitate to write all the details, as I do not want to forsake his privacy, so please know I am sensitive to his privacy yet I also want to explain what is going on.) Once he was standing up, he could not get his legs to move where he wanted to go, and he would not let us move him, so back on the bed he sat. Fortunately, there was no commode issue, but there will be at any time now.
I went out with Mom to buy paint today and stopped at McDonald's to get Dad a hamburger. Dave fixed him a malt, and he drank all the malt (about 4 oz.) and two tiny bits of burger. I don't think he can use his dentures any more. We tried them today, but even with a tube of Fixodent, which he normally does not use, they were flopping around. He was getting sores on his gum, which is why we left them out for a few days. He may not be able to use them again.
Dad has a new lump on the back of his neck. I showed Beth and she agreed it is probably another tumor. He often has a sore throat we think comes from sleeping with with his mouth open. He sounds hoarse and probably is very dry, but he does not want much water. He has trouble coordinating his mouth and swallowing. What I mean is, he lets me put water in his mouth, but then I have to tell him to close his mouth and swallow. Sometimes he chokes a little bit. At other times, like with his malt tonight, he swallowed just fine. He ate 3 bites of pudding (with crushed pills) and swallowed, but didn't want any more.
He was asleep before 7 again tonight. I'd better get my beauty rest, as I assume I'll be up, as Dave was last night, for a few hours in the very early morning!
We're going to change his morphine pills to a patch, and she said we could crush the rest of his pills, and put them in pudding, or whatever he can swallow.
Although Dad did sit up today with his legs hanging over the side, he did not get out of bed except for a minute. He insisted upon standing up, and we thought he wanted to get on the commode. (As an aside, I always hesitate to write all the details, as I do not want to forsake his privacy, so please know I am sensitive to his privacy yet I also want to explain what is going on.) Once he was standing up, he could not get his legs to move where he wanted to go, and he would not let us move him, so back on the bed he sat. Fortunately, there was no commode issue, but there will be at any time now.
I went out with Mom to buy paint today and stopped at McDonald's to get Dad a hamburger. Dave fixed him a malt, and he drank all the malt (about 4 oz.) and two tiny bits of burger. I don't think he can use his dentures any more. We tried them today, but even with a tube of Fixodent, which he normally does not use, they were flopping around. He was getting sores on his gum, which is why we left them out for a few days. He may not be able to use them again.
Dad has a new lump on the back of his neck. I showed Beth and she agreed it is probably another tumor. He often has a sore throat we think comes from sleeping with with his mouth open. He sounds hoarse and probably is very dry, but he does not want much water. He has trouble coordinating his mouth and swallowing. What I mean is, he lets me put water in his mouth, but then I have to tell him to close his mouth and swallow. Sometimes he chokes a little bit. At other times, like with his malt tonight, he swallowed just fine. He ate 3 bites of pudding (with crushed pills) and swallowed, but didn't want any more.
He was asleep before 7 again tonight. I'd better get my beauty rest, as I assume I'll be up, as Dave was last night, for a few hours in the very early morning!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday - A 3rd Day in Bed
Dad was in bed all day today, for the 3rd time. He has not had two days in a row in bed yet, but that may happen tomorrow. He has surprised us before, though.
I wrote my blog about 8:30 last night, wondering if we could get Dad out of his recliner. He woke up about 10 pm, and when we felt he was awake enough to help us, we got him in his wheel chair, and to the bedroom. We really had a struggle getting him into bed, as he was dog tired and couldn't even use his legs to help stand. We managed to get his pills in him over about 30 minutes. He slept well until 5 AM when he had chest and back pain, so he got a dose of his pain meds. He then "slept" until 11 AM. I put "slept" in quotation marks because it was the kind of sleep where he talks fairly constantly so I can't imagine it's good and restful. He was very slow to wake up enough to follow instructions, so it was noontime before he could eat a few bites of oatmeal and take his morning pills.
He stayed awake until about 1 PM, then slept until 4. Again, it took a long time for him to regain his senses, and he wanted to sit up on the side of his bed. We managed to get him to eat just a few bites of peaches and pears, and then some chocolate pudding. At 6:30, he was complaining of back pain, so we gave him his pills and laid him down. He was asleep before we walked down the hallway.
We don't think Dad has eaten more than 500 calories in three days. He is very weak. He imagines holding things in his hands. The good part of the day is when Mom comes up with some old stories about what they used to do, what candy they used to like, movie theaters they went to, the story about Dad being in a car accident (after a few too many you-know-whats) the night before their engagement party, which was then canceled because Dad was in the hospital. Dad laughs a lot at her stories.
Dave will be on duty tonight. Considering Dad fell asleep at 6:30, he may be in for an early AM wake up (1 AM? 2 AM?) but - what can you do but go with the flow.
I wrote my blog about 8:30 last night, wondering if we could get Dad out of his recliner. He woke up about 10 pm, and when we felt he was awake enough to help us, we got him in his wheel chair, and to the bedroom. We really had a struggle getting him into bed, as he was dog tired and couldn't even use his legs to help stand. We managed to get his pills in him over about 30 minutes. He slept well until 5 AM when he had chest and back pain, so he got a dose of his pain meds. He then "slept" until 11 AM. I put "slept" in quotation marks because it was the kind of sleep where he talks fairly constantly so I can't imagine it's good and restful. He was very slow to wake up enough to follow instructions, so it was noontime before he could eat a few bites of oatmeal and take his morning pills.
He stayed awake until about 1 PM, then slept until 4. Again, it took a long time for him to regain his senses, and he wanted to sit up on the side of his bed. We managed to get him to eat just a few bites of peaches and pears, and then some chocolate pudding. At 6:30, he was complaining of back pain, so we gave him his pills and laid him down. He was asleep before we walked down the hallway.
We don't think Dad has eaten more than 500 calories in three days. He is very weak. He imagines holding things in his hands. The good part of the day is when Mom comes up with some old stories about what they used to do, what candy they used to like, movie theaters they went to, the story about Dad being in a car accident (after a few too many you-know-whats) the night before their engagement party, which was then canceled because Dad was in the hospital. Dad laughs a lot at her stories.
Dave will be on duty tonight. Considering Dad fell asleep at 6:30, he may be in for an early AM wake up (1 AM? 2 AM?) but - what can you do but go with the flow.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday - Snore
It's college game day and Dad has slept through most of the WVU game, all of the Georgia Tech game, and he is still sleeping. It's been a 7 hour nap - so far. I woke him up an hour ago to see if he wanted anything to eat. He was so groggy he could barely sip water, but he did complain about his chest so I gave him a low dose of morphine.
He slept from 8:30 pm last night to 7 am this morning. Lib gave him his morphine at 7:30, then he slept again until 11! At that point we gave him the rest of his morning pills, some Cream of Wheat, and moved him to the BBC. He stayed awake for the first part of the WVU game, and has been out ever since.
Soooo, there's not much to write about. Libbie left about 1:30, Molly and Coleman came to visit Gramps but Gramps was not awake, and otherwise it has been a very quiet day. Mom has been doing laundry, washing dishes and reorganizing the frig. Pretty boring for her, I'm sorry to say.
It could be tough to get Dad back into bed if he can't help us, so we may leave him in the recliner. He truly seems to sleep much better in the chair than in bed, but he has objected to sleeping there. Dad has liked to maintain his routine and we've been happy to accommodate him. My only concern at this point is getting his evening pills in him, which are necessary to keep his body functioning as well as possible. We'll see what the night has to bring...
He slept from 8:30 pm last night to 7 am this morning. Lib gave him his morphine at 7:30, then he slept again until 11! At that point we gave him the rest of his morning pills, some Cream of Wheat, and moved him to the BBC. He stayed awake for the first part of the WVU game, and has been out ever since.
Soooo, there's not much to write about. Libbie left about 1:30, Molly and Coleman came to visit Gramps but Gramps was not awake, and otherwise it has been a very quiet day. Mom has been doing laundry, washing dishes and reorganizing the frig. Pretty boring for her, I'm sorry to say.
It could be tough to get Dad back into bed if he can't help us, so we may leave him in the recliner. He truly seems to sleep much better in the chair than in bed, but he has objected to sleeping there. Dad has liked to maintain his routine and we've been happy to accommodate him. My only concern at this point is getting his evening pills in him, which are necessary to keep his body functioning as well as possible. We'll see what the night has to bring...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday - Libbie & Helen are here
Libbie arrived shortly after 10 PM last night, and Mom came today, after stopping at Costco for some staples - in our house that means artichoke spinach dip and bagels. We had our usual Friday visitors as well, Beth the Hospice visiting nurse and Charisse the nurse assistant that makes sure Dad is cleaned from head to foot. Actually, she is allowed to clean only from head (including shampoo and shave) to ankles. For some reason, Hospice assistance does not include foot care. Knowing this, I gave Dad a foot bath and scrub yesterday and Dave cut his toenails.
With Beth, we discussed Dad's continuing chatter at night (last night it was from 2 AM onward) which means he is not sleeping well. Also, his gums are beginning to hurt, and Charisse found a sore spot by the catheter. Dad does not like the catheter, so having a sore spot in addition is even worse. We need to apply ointment 3 times a day to his sore, and we're going to get a denture adhesive for his gums. Beth thinks his dentures are now too loose (Dad is slowly losing weight), but the good news is he does not have thrush. She called the Hospice doctor, and we are going to replace his sleeping pill with something stronger. Sorry, I can't remember what it is, but it will arrive by FedEx either tomorrow or Monday.
Dad stayed in bed all day today, as he was very weak, and exhausted from his morning "activities" and Charisse's visit. He didn't get his morning nap, and had lots of trouble talking to Beth. He didn't sleep well in the afternoon, either, so maybe he will vacation in DreamWorld tonight. Libbie is on duty, Mom is there for reinforcements, and Dave and I will get to be in our bed tonight!
Libbie and Mom insisted Dave and I go out for dinner, and they didn't have to make that suggestion twice. We went just to the club, and ran into our neighbors from whom Dad rents his house. They already had a foursome with other neighbors, so Dave and I had a table to ourselves. We had a delicious dinner. We went back to Dad's, got him to take his pills, get his ointment, and get settled down for the night. Mom said Dad ate just a few bites of pudding for dinner (though he had had a malt before we left) and that he was more coherent with his conversation. That was good to hear. Earlier today he was saying to Beth, "Why can't I control my breath?" but what he meant was his speech - I know because he's asked me that several times. It's got to be maddening to him to have to struggle to find the right words, and to know he's having problems. I was glad to hear he was in a pretty good mood and fairly coherent while we were out. By the time Dave and I got back from dinner, he was very sleepy, so we went through his bedtime routine as quickly as we could.
Then we said goodbye to Lib and Mom. Now I'm going to hit the sack!
With Beth, we discussed Dad's continuing chatter at night (last night it was from 2 AM onward) which means he is not sleeping well. Also, his gums are beginning to hurt, and Charisse found a sore spot by the catheter. Dad does not like the catheter, so having a sore spot in addition is even worse. We need to apply ointment 3 times a day to his sore, and we're going to get a denture adhesive for his gums. Beth thinks his dentures are now too loose (Dad is slowly losing weight), but the good news is he does not have thrush. She called the Hospice doctor, and we are going to replace his sleeping pill with something stronger. Sorry, I can't remember what it is, but it will arrive by FedEx either tomorrow or Monday.
Dad stayed in bed all day today, as he was very weak, and exhausted from his morning "activities" and Charisse's visit. He didn't get his morning nap, and had lots of trouble talking to Beth. He didn't sleep well in the afternoon, either, so maybe he will vacation in DreamWorld tonight. Libbie is on duty, Mom is there for reinforcements, and Dave and I will get to be in our bed tonight!
Libbie and Mom insisted Dave and I go out for dinner, and they didn't have to make that suggestion twice. We went just to the club, and ran into our neighbors from whom Dad rents his house. They already had a foursome with other neighbors, so Dave and I had a table to ourselves. We had a delicious dinner. We went back to Dad's, got him to take his pills, get his ointment, and get settled down for the night. Mom said Dad ate just a few bites of pudding for dinner (though he had had a malt before we left) and that he was more coherent with his conversation. That was good to hear. Earlier today he was saying to Beth, "Why can't I control my breath?" but what he meant was his speech - I know because he's asked me that several times. It's got to be maddening to him to have to struggle to find the right words, and to know he's having problems. I was glad to hear he was in a pretty good mood and fairly coherent while we were out. By the time Dave and I got back from dinner, he was very sleepy, so we went through his bedtime routine as quickly as we could.
Then we said goodbye to Lib and Mom. Now I'm going to hit the sack!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday - Just like yesterday
No discernible changes today. Dad did not sleep as well as the previous night, and was maybe a little groggier this morning. He asked for pain medication twice before noon, but not at all after noon. He took long naps both in the morning and afternoon. The highlight of his day was when Molly and Cole stopped by. Cole immediately got out the little trucks Dad keeps, asked for cheese and crackers, and "stole" Great-Gramps' grapes out of his bowl. It was the first time I heard Dad laugh all day. He thinks Cole is the bees knees, and the cutest little guy in the world (he looks like Dad). And, Dad had a fairly coherent conversation with Molly. I believe a little change, and stimulation is good.
I try to converse with Dad, and to engage him. A couple times today I answered a question he asked and he told me he wasn't talking to me! The first time he said he was talking to himself and the second time he was talking to Wolf Blitzer.
Libbie is arriving tonight - hopefully about 10 pm. Dad was pleased to hear that, and I'm hoping she will provide a nice new distraction for him (from me).
Dad ate very little today, but loved his dinner. In an effort to find things that will "stick" to his spoon, I decided on Campbell's pot roast soup, put on top of mashed potatoes (with not much liquid). He ate it and told us it was the best meal he's has since we've been here! We hit the jackpot tonight!
I try to converse with Dad, and to engage him. A couple times today I answered a question he asked and he told me he wasn't talking to me! The first time he said he was talking to himself and the second time he was talking to Wolf Blitzer.
Libbie is arriving tonight - hopefully about 10 pm. Dad was pleased to hear that, and I'm hoping she will provide a nice new distraction for him (from me).
Dad ate very little today, but loved his dinner. In an effort to find things that will "stick" to his spoon, I decided on Campbell's pot roast soup, put on top of mashed potatoes (with not much liquid). He ate it and told us it was the best meal he's has since we've been here! We hit the jackpot tonight!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday - Hamburgers
Dad had a better sleep last night; he was up for only 1 hour between 9:30 pm and 7:30 am and he was quiet - very little of the talking he normally does. I hope that means he rested better. He had about half a breakfast, and after his morning wash and change of clothes, we took him to the living room. He slept for a few hours, had a half lunch, then slept more.
It is impossible to know what's going on in his mind, and it's very sad and frustrating for me. Not that what he does or says frustrates me, I'm frustrated he has to go through this. There are times when he talks, uses the wrong word, then immediately corrects himself, or tries to, until he gets it right. At other times, he goes in totally unexpected directions. He asked where Mom lives and I told him Charleston. He then started talking about China, and asked me why she moved to China. I reminded him it was Charleston, then he wanted to know how Charles likes his work. He meant Chad (who, for those of you who don't know him, comes from Charleston).
I was able to go out to dinner with a group of girlfriends this evening, and as I was leaving, Dad and Dave were talking about having hamburgers for dinner. After I left, Dad insisted they go out for burgers, that he could walk and he wanted to get out. Of course Dave had to convince him it wasn't possible, and he cooked burgers. It's hard to know that Dad, in his more lucid moments, is bored and wants to get out, but it just isn't possible. His fractured hip and rib, and who knows what else at this point, could break and cause a disaster. He cannot walk any more, he can only stand and take a few baby steps. I feel badly, though, that he wants to get out. I've suggested many time we at least go outside in the wheelchair, but he feels he isn't up to it.
Dad's mind goes in a thousand directions. One moment he's talking about gears and wants to know how something works, and the next he's talking about the cheap goods from China (China is on his mind these days). I keep looking for a time he could carry on at least a short conversation so I can call Uncle Jack, but it isn't happening these days.
Dad is having trouble using a spoon and fork. He can't keep soup in his spoon, and it's hard for him to spear a bite of food with his fork. He doesn't like me to help him, so I've been trying to give him small things he can pick up with his fingers. I think I'm more frustrated than he is, as he just rolls along, very slowly, talks and drinks his malts. He's generally in a good mood, not cheerful, but not depressed. Every morning he gets up and says he thinks he's a little better. I'm grateful he thinks so.
It is impossible to know what's going on in his mind, and it's very sad and frustrating for me. Not that what he does or says frustrates me, I'm frustrated he has to go through this. There are times when he talks, uses the wrong word, then immediately corrects himself, or tries to, until he gets it right. At other times, he goes in totally unexpected directions. He asked where Mom lives and I told him Charleston. He then started talking about China, and asked me why she moved to China. I reminded him it was Charleston, then he wanted to know how Charles likes his work. He meant Chad (who, for those of you who don't know him, comes from Charleston).
I was able to go out to dinner with a group of girlfriends this evening, and as I was leaving, Dad and Dave were talking about having hamburgers for dinner. After I left, Dad insisted they go out for burgers, that he could walk and he wanted to get out. Of course Dave had to convince him it wasn't possible, and he cooked burgers. It's hard to know that Dad, in his more lucid moments, is bored and wants to get out, but it just isn't possible. His fractured hip and rib, and who knows what else at this point, could break and cause a disaster. He cannot walk any more, he can only stand and take a few baby steps. I feel badly, though, that he wants to get out. I've suggested many time we at least go outside in the wheelchair, but he feels he isn't up to it.
Dad's mind goes in a thousand directions. One moment he's talking about gears and wants to know how something works, and the next he's talking about the cheap goods from China (China is on his mind these days). I keep looking for a time he could carry on at least a short conversation so I can call Uncle Jack, but it isn't happening these days.
Dad is having trouble using a spoon and fork. He can't keep soup in his spoon, and it's hard for him to spear a bite of food with his fork. He doesn't like me to help him, so I've been trying to give him small things he can pick up with his fingers. I think I'm more frustrated than he is, as he just rolls along, very slowly, talks and drinks his malts. He's generally in a good mood, not cheerful, but not depressed. Every morning he gets up and says he thinks he's a little better. I'm grateful he thinks so.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Tuesday - Uphill, A Little
You never know from day to day. Our Hospice Visiting Nurse Beth said she thinks one of the hardest parts for caregivers is the roller coaster effect of the ups and downs of their loved ones. I don't know - I'm always happy there is an up day, but I am frustrated at the down days even when I know there will be more and more of them.
Dad had a better night, but was still very restless. Beth recommended adding additional anti-anxiety medication, which we will do tonight. Dad slept from about 9:30 pm - 5:30 am, but when he is restless and talking in his sleep, he is not in a deep sleep. He is easily awakened if we ask if he is okay. I would like him to sleep deeply at night.
Dad ate much better today, and was able, for the most part, to feed himself. I thought he looked a little thinner, then Beth mentioned it looks to her as if he is losing weight. He had a little bit of trouble eating, getting grits on his spoon, and seeing his pieces of clementines, but overall he ate a good variety and a fair amount of his meals. He is eating ice cream and strawberries as I type this. He is not eating big meals, but does eat a good deal of ice cream in malts, with chocolate sauce, with fruit, and with oatmeal cookies!
He was a little more focused today, and had a decent conversation with Beth, although he was easily confused and thought she was trying to trick him, or "catch" him with all her questions. When she asks how he's feeling on a scale of 1-10, he tries to remember what he told her last time, so he can give the same answer, not realizing she wants to know about any changes, not giving him a memory test.
Charisse came today while I had gone to the Village to get a few things. Dave was here. Dad declined his shave. He is getting so he says no to the bath, so I have to insist, even though he always feel better afterwards and thanks Charisse for her help.
Not much news today. The weather is gorgeous, Molly has brought us buttnernut squash soup and chicken & biscuits which were wonderful, Dave is at our couples book club tonight and I plan to go to a girlfriends' get together tomorrow evening for dinner. I cleaned up the pine cones out of our yard and pitched some worn-out summer flower pots. Let's hope for an even better night tonight.
Dad had a better night, but was still very restless. Beth recommended adding additional anti-anxiety medication, which we will do tonight. Dad slept from about 9:30 pm - 5:30 am, but when he is restless and talking in his sleep, he is not in a deep sleep. He is easily awakened if we ask if he is okay. I would like him to sleep deeply at night.
Dad ate much better today, and was able, for the most part, to feed himself. I thought he looked a little thinner, then Beth mentioned it looks to her as if he is losing weight. He had a little bit of trouble eating, getting grits on his spoon, and seeing his pieces of clementines, but overall he ate a good variety and a fair amount of his meals. He is eating ice cream and strawberries as I type this. He is not eating big meals, but does eat a good deal of ice cream in malts, with chocolate sauce, with fruit, and with oatmeal cookies!
He was a little more focused today, and had a decent conversation with Beth, although he was easily confused and thought she was trying to trick him, or "catch" him with all her questions. When she asks how he's feeling on a scale of 1-10, he tries to remember what he told her last time, so he can give the same answer, not realizing she wants to know about any changes, not giving him a memory test.
Charisse came today while I had gone to the Village to get a few things. Dave was here. Dad declined his shave. He is getting so he says no to the bath, so I have to insist, even though he always feel better afterwards and thanks Charisse for her help.
Not much news today. The weather is gorgeous, Molly has brought us buttnernut squash soup and chicken & biscuits which were wonderful, Dave is at our couples book club tonight and I plan to go to a girlfriends' get together tomorrow evening for dinner. I cleaned up the pine cones out of our yard and pitched some worn-out summer flower pots. Let's hope for an even better night tonight.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday - Downhill
Dad did not have a good night last night. He was very tired when he went to bed, but chattered on and on - to himself - until about 2 AM. Sometimes he seemed to be answering questions, sometimes he would come up with a word such as "assimilation" then spell it. What was amazing was that he was speaking perfectly naturally with none of the hesitation and struggle to put sentences together he does during the day. At 2 AM he said he was having chest and back pain, so I gave him the standard (smallest) dose of liquid morphine. He was out like a light and snored for the next 4.5 hours. When he awakened at 6:30, he was ready to get up, and not rest any more.
Dad was very groggy and sleepy, though. It took 3 hours for him to take his pills, brush his teeth, sip coffee, let me wash his face, arms, chest and back and put clean clothes on him, then get in the wheelchair and roll into the living room. Dave was helping! He is very slow to follow instructions, and wants to "wait a minute" constantly. Once he got into the Big Blue Chair, he ate a bite, maybe two of oatmeal, then slept until noon. He woke up long enough to eat peaches and jello, then fell asleep again until about 4. He ate a few bites of pears, then a piece of bread. He is now drinking a malt.
Dad seems to be very weak and uncoordinated. He has trouble moving his feet, and I had to feed him his peaches and pears. He could not get the fruit on his spoon. Part of this problem may be his eyesight, but he is having trouble using his hands.
He knows he is having problems. He asked me why he can't control his speech. I told him I didn't know, but maybe he is tired. Heck, I couldn't control MY speech when Mom, Molly, Geoff and Jon called me today. (I cried -- it's hard to talk about Dad having so many problems, and his anxiety at night.) He also seems to be having something going on in his throat. He keeps clearing his throat, loudly and "roughly" and now says he has a sore throat.
I spoke to his nurse today, and we agreed Dad should get more morphine when he goes to bed, and not wait until 2 AM. He can't rest if his mind won't rest. Hopefully, he will be less anxious during the night and have a better day tomorrow.
He has been very polite, very complimentary of everyone that has been here to see him, and there's been no salty language. However, he was just watching a commercial on CNN and started saying he was going to give the guy a punch in the nose because he deserved it (???). His thought patterns have run the gamut and we never know what to expect. My wish is for him to be comfortable tonight!
Dad was very groggy and sleepy, though. It took 3 hours for him to take his pills, brush his teeth, sip coffee, let me wash his face, arms, chest and back and put clean clothes on him, then get in the wheelchair and roll into the living room. Dave was helping! He is very slow to follow instructions, and wants to "wait a minute" constantly. Once he got into the Big Blue Chair, he ate a bite, maybe two of oatmeal, then slept until noon. He woke up long enough to eat peaches and jello, then fell asleep again until about 4. He ate a few bites of pears, then a piece of bread. He is now drinking a malt.
Dad seems to be very weak and uncoordinated. He has trouble moving his feet, and I had to feed him his peaches and pears. He could not get the fruit on his spoon. Part of this problem may be his eyesight, but he is having trouble using his hands.
He knows he is having problems. He asked me why he can't control his speech. I told him I didn't know, but maybe he is tired. Heck, I couldn't control MY speech when Mom, Molly, Geoff and Jon called me today. (I cried -- it's hard to talk about Dad having so many problems, and his anxiety at night.) He also seems to be having something going on in his throat. He keeps clearing his throat, loudly and "roughly" and now says he has a sore throat.
I spoke to his nurse today, and we agreed Dad should get more morphine when he goes to bed, and not wait until 2 AM. He can't rest if his mind won't rest. Hopefully, he will be less anxious during the night and have a better day tomorrow.
He has been very polite, very complimentary of everyone that has been here to see him, and there's been no salty language. However, he was just watching a commercial on CNN and started saying he was going to give the guy a punch in the nose because he deserved it (???). His thought patterns have run the gamut and we never know what to expect. My wish is for him to be comfortable tonight!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday - Libbie Leaves
We're back down to just the three of us - Dad, Dave and me. Libbie left in the late morning after being a cleaning tornado. I had hoped to get a last walk in with her, but the morning routine with Dad takes quite a long time - he cannot be rushed - so it was time for her to go as Dad was finishing his breakfast.
Dad's night was not bad, though he didn't really settle down until after 11, and he was up at 6:30, wanting his pain meds. Lib gave him some, then he went back to sleep until about 8.
He was very slow and confused today, though I am searching for a better word than confused. He mixed up words, and seemed very tired. He slept for 4 hours this afternoon, then could not get a grip on what day it was or what time it was. He ate very little today, though he is still asking for his malts and he drinks a fair amount of water. He had no interest in the football games.
His left leg, the one full of clots, is looking very swollen, much more than usual, as is his foot. He seems weak, and could barely get a glass of water to his lips to wash down his evening pills. I HATE CANCER. It is heartbreaking to see this 86-yr old Marine struggle so hard to stand up, turn around, search for the chair arms he can't see and have his hands shake as he tries to sip some water. He has been extremely polite and apologetic for his weakness. This is not how anyone should have to spend their last days.
Dad's night was not bad, though he didn't really settle down until after 11, and he was up at 6:30, wanting his pain meds. Lib gave him some, then he went back to sleep until about 8.
He was very slow and confused today, though I am searching for a better word than confused. He mixed up words, and seemed very tired. He slept for 4 hours this afternoon, then could not get a grip on what day it was or what time it was. He ate very little today, though he is still asking for his malts and he drinks a fair amount of water. He had no interest in the football games.
His left leg, the one full of clots, is looking very swollen, much more than usual, as is his foot. He seems weak, and could barely get a glass of water to his lips to wash down his evening pills. I HATE CANCER. It is heartbreaking to see this 86-yr old Marine struggle so hard to stand up, turn around, search for the chair arms he can't see and have his hands shake as he tries to sip some water. He has been extremely polite and apologetic for his weakness. This is not how anyone should have to spend their last days.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Saturday - Steve & Rita Leave
(Note: I think I fixed the settings so comments can now be added.)
The Gang Green in Savannah is getting smaller by the day. Steve and Rita left after our late breakfast. Rita was the Kitchen Queen cooking and cleaning nonstop since she's been here, thank you very much! Steve was wonderful with Dad, helping with every little thing, attending to his personal needs, listening to his stories and providing much needed comic relief.
Dad's night was too short last night, waking up at 4 AM then every hour until about 7 when the rest of the crowd decided to stay up. Libbie and Steve went WAY out of their way to drive to McDonald's to get Dad his favorite sausage cheese biscuit. They were half way home when they discovered the order wasn't right. Back they went, reordered, and came home. Unfortunately, Dad's sausage and cheese was on a McGriddle instead of a biscuit, but Dad ate every bite. It was a lot of time and effort on their part to give Dad a special breakfast, which was very gracious of them!
Dad took a long nap after breakfast, and Libbie and I took a 3-mile walk. Then we had showers, did catch-up work on our computers, and it was lunch time. Dad woke up. He complained of chest and back pain, which is getting to be a more common complaint. We gave him a shot (by mouth) of his liquid morphine booster. For the first time in ages, I gave him a lunch without asking what he wanted. He started talking about peanut butter and jelly, but I already had a hot dog and mac & cheese on his plate. He was perfectly happy, especially when Lib gave him a bowl of ice cream with the last brownie (from Rita) for dessert.
Then, surprise surprise, a box of oatmeal cookies arrived via FedEx, courtesy of Mom. These cookies were shipped from St. Louis, where Mom and Dad used to get them during their high school days. Dad was thrilled! He asked for a malt to go with his first cookie.
It was football time - Dad snoozed on and off in the afternoon, possibly due to the extra morphine, and at one point wanted more ice cream but had peaches and jello instead. He was wide awake and hungry again by 6. We had salads and spaghetti bolognese.
Dad was ready for bed by 8:30, but we managed to keep him up for another hour. He did very well in the transfer from big blue chair to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed, and sitting position to sleeping position. He took all his pills without complaint and happily settled down for the evening.
He was very complimentary today of all his family and all we do for him. He had some imaginative moments, handing me an nonexistent remote to put on the table, for example, but nothing major. Most of his conversations were right on target. It was a calm and easy day.
Libbie leaves tomorrow, and I'll miss her. Besides being good company, she laundered all the sheets on the beds, did all the towels, washed a ton of dishes, made salads, kept me walking fast on our route, gave us an hour to visit some returning friends, and jumped up whenever Dad needed something. She'll be here with Dad tonight while Dave and I go home, but she has strict orders to call if she needs help. I hope Dad, and therefore Libbie, sleep well!
The Gang Green in Savannah is getting smaller by the day. Steve and Rita left after our late breakfast. Rita was the Kitchen Queen cooking and cleaning nonstop since she's been here, thank you very much! Steve was wonderful with Dad, helping with every little thing, attending to his personal needs, listening to his stories and providing much needed comic relief.
Dad's night was too short last night, waking up at 4 AM then every hour until about 7 when the rest of the crowd decided to stay up. Libbie and Steve went WAY out of their way to drive to McDonald's to get Dad his favorite sausage cheese biscuit. They were half way home when they discovered the order wasn't right. Back they went, reordered, and came home. Unfortunately, Dad's sausage and cheese was on a McGriddle instead of a biscuit, but Dad ate every bite. It was a lot of time and effort on their part to give Dad a special breakfast, which was very gracious of them!
Dad took a long nap after breakfast, and Libbie and I took a 3-mile walk. Then we had showers, did catch-up work on our computers, and it was lunch time. Dad woke up. He complained of chest and back pain, which is getting to be a more common complaint. We gave him a shot (by mouth) of his liquid morphine booster. For the first time in ages, I gave him a lunch without asking what he wanted. He started talking about peanut butter and jelly, but I already had a hot dog and mac & cheese on his plate. He was perfectly happy, especially when Lib gave him a bowl of ice cream with the last brownie (from Rita) for dessert.
Then, surprise surprise, a box of oatmeal cookies arrived via FedEx, courtesy of Mom. These cookies were shipped from St. Louis, where Mom and Dad used to get them during their high school days. Dad was thrilled! He asked for a malt to go with his first cookie.
It was football time - Dad snoozed on and off in the afternoon, possibly due to the extra morphine, and at one point wanted more ice cream but had peaches and jello instead. He was wide awake and hungry again by 6. We had salads and spaghetti bolognese.
Dad was ready for bed by 8:30, but we managed to keep him up for another hour. He did very well in the transfer from big blue chair to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed, and sitting position to sleeping position. He took all his pills without complaint and happily settled down for the evening.
He was very complimentary today of all his family and all we do for him. He had some imaginative moments, handing me an nonexistent remote to put on the table, for example, but nothing major. Most of his conversations were right on target. It was a calm and easy day.
Libbie leaves tomorrow, and I'll miss her. Besides being good company, she laundered all the sheets on the beds, did all the towels, washed a ton of dishes, made salads, kept me walking fast on our route, gave us an hour to visit some returning friends, and jumped up whenever Dad needed something. She'll be here with Dad tonight while Dave and I go home, but she has strict orders to call if she needs help. I hope Dad, and therefore Libbie, sleep well!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday - Geoff leaves
Kind of a crazy day today. Dad had a good night, sleeping over 8 hrs. straight, so we expected a good morning. He was congenial to everyone, yet would throw out some salty (and worse) language and could easily get irritated. Rita made a great breakfast of cantaloupe, egg and sausage casserole, a hashbrown casserole, and buttered toast. Dad ate a few bites then wanted to put syrup on everything. I added syrup then he took the bottle and added more. I wish I knew what was going on. Is his sweet tooth having cravings? Is he forgetting what is on his plate? Approximately 30 minutes after breakfast he wanted a malted milk shake. He put his recliner back to take a nap, but slept for only about 15 minutes, if that. There was a fair amount of "commotion" with 7 people in the house, but we were all catering to Dad's needs.
He had a few very disjointed conversations, almost as if he was dreaming. I gave him his lunch and he was almost through when Charisse and a new helper (a massage therapist) arrived. We had to work to get him to get up out of the recliner for his bath - he would have preferred to sit and chat all afternoon. As always, he enjoyed his bath and shave, and he loved the massage therapist rubbing his back. They brought him back out to the living room to the big blue chair. By that time, the visiting nurse and her nursing student were there to talk to Dad. More people! We agreed the current meds seem to be appropriate, and have made no changes.
Geoff had to leave for the airport, so said his goodbyes (waaaa) and Libbie drove him. Even though Geoff had been here since Monday, I felt we didn't have enough time. There was so much going on. I still look back to our (Dave's & my) visit with Geoff and Betsy in early July and appreciate the time we had with them then. This time it was really about Geoff being able to visit with Dad. I was glad Dad told Geoff many times how happy he was his old buddy was there.
Then the nurses left. I put Dad's recliner back, and he promptly fell asleep. Rita and Steve shooed us out the door (as they did for dinner last night!!!) and Dave and I ran a couple errands. Dad was still sleeping when we got home and I finally woke him up just before 6 pm after his 4 hour nap. Dave had gotten ribs from Sandfly Barbecue, and we pulled together the potato salad and deviled eggs from Mom, fried potatoes from Lib, pork & beans from Dad's cupboard, and mac & cheese from two nights ago. I ate quickly then went to play with Coleman while Molly took Chase to Country Day's Homecoming football game.
Steve and Dave put Dad to bed, and he was telling Peter Rabbit stories when I got home.
We do understand, and have always known, that small cell lung cancer often travels to the brain, and we are wondering if Dad is having some brain functioning issues. There has been nothing definitive, but certainly examples of Dad not being Dad, such as the salty language and dreamy talk. On a positive note, he holds my hand more often, which I like. He also is telling everyone he loves them, which we all like. Some things are better, some things are not. Kind of crazy.
He had a few very disjointed conversations, almost as if he was dreaming. I gave him his lunch and he was almost through when Charisse and a new helper (a massage therapist) arrived. We had to work to get him to get up out of the recliner for his bath - he would have preferred to sit and chat all afternoon. As always, he enjoyed his bath and shave, and he loved the massage therapist rubbing his back. They brought him back out to the living room to the big blue chair. By that time, the visiting nurse and her nursing student were there to talk to Dad. More people! We agreed the current meds seem to be appropriate, and have made no changes.
Geoff had to leave for the airport, so said his goodbyes (waaaa) and Libbie drove him. Even though Geoff had been here since Monday, I felt we didn't have enough time. There was so much going on. I still look back to our (Dave's & my) visit with Geoff and Betsy in early July and appreciate the time we had with them then. This time it was really about Geoff being able to visit with Dad. I was glad Dad told Geoff many times how happy he was his old buddy was there.
Then the nurses left. I put Dad's recliner back, and he promptly fell asleep. Rita and Steve shooed us out the door (as they did for dinner last night!!!) and Dave and I ran a couple errands. Dad was still sleeping when we got home and I finally woke him up just before 6 pm after his 4 hour nap. Dave had gotten ribs from Sandfly Barbecue, and we pulled together the potato salad and deviled eggs from Mom, fried potatoes from Lib, pork & beans from Dad's cupboard, and mac & cheese from two nights ago. I ate quickly then went to play with Coleman while Molly took Chase to Country Day's Homecoming football game.
Steve and Dave put Dad to bed, and he was telling Peter Rabbit stories when I got home.
We do understand, and have always known, that small cell lung cancer often travels to the brain, and we are wondering if Dad is having some brain functioning issues. There has been nothing definitive, but certainly examples of Dad not being Dad, such as the salty language and dreamy talk. On a positive note, he holds my hand more often, which I like. He also is telling everyone he loves them, which we all like. Some things are better, some things are not. Kind of crazy.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday - Libbie Arrives
This was another good day for Dad - not as great as yesterday, but again he was excited to see his company and was fairly chatty. His mental clarity was excellent some times, not as good at other times. He was delighted Rita told him she would be cooking dinner, and he looked forward to his fried chicken all day long.
He had slept well from about 10 PM to 4:30 AM, then wanted company again at 5:30 and 6:30, so the crowd was sleepily up by then. Dave and I slept really well at home, not even waking up until after 7! I went over to Dad's to see how the night had gone, dispensed the morning pills, then went back home to shower and dress properly. By the time I got back to Dad's, Rita had made breakfast and everyone but Dad was finished eating. We chatted a while and eventually took Dad back to his bedroom (he had been sitting at the table in his wheelchair wearing his bathrobe). We got him washed up, in clean clothes and boxers, and convinced him to take a nap in his bed. He became very confused about the time of day, I guess because he was in bed again.
Dave, Geoff and I went to do some errands while Steve and Rita stayed with Dad. Rita had suggested Dave and I go out for dinner, and I took her up on her suggestion. Dad overheard us talking, and he kept thinking we were leaving for dinner and a movie right then.
He eventually fell asleep, but napped for only an hour. Steve and Rita sat in his room and talked to him for quite a while. By then it was noon, Libbie arrived, and we were back from our errands. Dad settled down into the BBC.
Rita and Steve went to Kroger's, then Rita did her magic in the kitchen. Dad fell asleep and slept soundly for almost 3 hours. Since he was well rested, we're now trying to keep him awake until about 10, so he will sleep even better tonight. West Virginia football is on the television, so he's trying to keep his eyeballs focused on the game.
Libbie wanted me to tell everyone she's been a big help. I asked her how...ha ha. She just now served Dad his second bowl of ice cream. She's going to stay in his room tonight, which I'm sure will help Dad sleep well, knowing someone is there. She's also offered to take Geoff to the airport tomorrow. She IS a big help.
He had slept well from about 10 PM to 4:30 AM, then wanted company again at 5:30 and 6:30, so the crowd was sleepily up by then. Dave and I slept really well at home, not even waking up until after 7! I went over to Dad's to see how the night had gone, dispensed the morning pills, then went back home to shower and dress properly. By the time I got back to Dad's, Rita had made breakfast and everyone but Dad was finished eating. We chatted a while and eventually took Dad back to his bedroom (he had been sitting at the table in his wheelchair wearing his bathrobe). We got him washed up, in clean clothes and boxers, and convinced him to take a nap in his bed. He became very confused about the time of day, I guess because he was in bed again.
Dave, Geoff and I went to do some errands while Steve and Rita stayed with Dad. Rita had suggested Dave and I go out for dinner, and I took her up on her suggestion. Dad overheard us talking, and he kept thinking we were leaving for dinner and a movie right then.
He eventually fell asleep, but napped for only an hour. Steve and Rita sat in his room and talked to him for quite a while. By then it was noon, Libbie arrived, and we were back from our errands. Dad settled down into the BBC.
Rita and Steve went to Kroger's, then Rita did her magic in the kitchen. Dad fell asleep and slept soundly for almost 3 hours. Since he was well rested, we're now trying to keep him awake until about 10, so he will sleep even better tonight. West Virginia football is on the television, so he's trying to keep his eyeballs focused on the game.
Libbie wanted me to tell everyone she's been a big help. I asked her how...ha ha. She just now served Dad his second bowl of ice cream. She's going to stay in his room tonight, which I'm sure will help Dad sleep well, knowing someone is there. She's also offered to take Geoff to the airport tomorrow. She IS a big help.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Another Turn - UP this time!
I cannot believe what a difference there has been in Dad between yesterday and today. Night and day. Gone and back. Down and up. Yesterday he could hardly put a sentence together, and I was convinced he would never get out of bed again. He didn't even sit up without assistance. Today he has been chatty, clever, adding details to a story Dave was telling us about gladiators, sitting up in the Big Blue Chair ---
He had a great night, sleeping from about 10 pm to 7 am, with just an hour's interruption. He was awake just in time to say goodbye to Jon and Jack. (The goodbyes started my waterworks that didn't quit for quite a while.) Dad was so glad they were here, and even after they left he was still saying how much he appreciated all they did for him.
Tuesday evening we started a new regime of pills - the morphine, a sleeping pill, and a change of anti-anxiety medication. These changes, along with the catheter working like a charm, must have worked extremely well. All the swelling Dad had in his feet, arm and face was gone this morning, and as I said, he slept well. Let's hope this combination keeps it up!
Dad perked up as he woke up more fully, and I washed him. He then had a good breakfast of grapefruit and French toast and took all his pills. Then he wanted coffee (HOT coffee) and wanted to sit up even more. Geoff and I were skeptical, but we helped sit him up with his legs over the side of the bed, and he did great. Dave came home after taking Jon and Jack to the airport. Dad wanted to go into the living room to his Big Blue Chair, and we thought he could handle it, so we got him into the wheelchair and then into the BBC. He promptly fell asleep after all the activity, and slept for almost two hours.
He woke up just as Mom arrived. She wanted to visit with him, and also help us out in any way. She sure did! She brought LOTS of food goodies from Costco - my favorite - and some homemade deviled eggs. Thank you thank you!!!!!!
Dad and Mom chatted about high school, about their favorite oatmeal cookies, Dad's visit with Jack, etc. etc. He was so on the ball, and I kept saying to Mom, I cannot believe the difference between today and yesterday, when he was so out of it.
Steve and Rita surprised us by coming today, instead of tomorrow as we expected! I feel a little guilty sounding the alarm about Dad, as I think they hurried down, but I did wonder how many days Dad had left - until today. Now I wonder how many weeks he has left. Can you tell I am just amazed?
Geoff, Steve and Dave are putting Dad to bed right now, and I just heard a big laugh. It's been an amazingly good day after such a bad day yesterday. I just wish Jon and Jack could have been here. I am glad Mom, Geoff, Steve and Rita got to see Dad in such a relaxed and good mood.
He had a great night, sleeping from about 10 pm to 7 am, with just an hour's interruption. He was awake just in time to say goodbye to Jon and Jack. (The goodbyes started my waterworks that didn't quit for quite a while.) Dad was so glad they were here, and even after they left he was still saying how much he appreciated all they did for him.
Tuesday evening we started a new regime of pills - the morphine, a sleeping pill, and a change of anti-anxiety medication. These changes, along with the catheter working like a charm, must have worked extremely well. All the swelling Dad had in his feet, arm and face was gone this morning, and as I said, he slept well. Let's hope this combination keeps it up!
Dad perked up as he woke up more fully, and I washed him. He then had a good breakfast of grapefruit and French toast and took all his pills. Then he wanted coffee (HOT coffee) and wanted to sit up even more. Geoff and I were skeptical, but we helped sit him up with his legs over the side of the bed, and he did great. Dave came home after taking Jon and Jack to the airport. Dad wanted to go into the living room to his Big Blue Chair, and we thought he could handle it, so we got him into the wheelchair and then into the BBC. He promptly fell asleep after all the activity, and slept for almost two hours.
He woke up just as Mom arrived. She wanted to visit with him, and also help us out in any way. She sure did! She brought LOTS of food goodies from Costco - my favorite - and some homemade deviled eggs. Thank you thank you!!!!!!
Dad and Mom chatted about high school, about their favorite oatmeal cookies, Dad's visit with Jack, etc. etc. He was so on the ball, and I kept saying to Mom, I cannot believe the difference between today and yesterday, when he was so out of it.
Steve and Rita surprised us by coming today, instead of tomorrow as we expected! I feel a little guilty sounding the alarm about Dad, as I think they hurried down, but I did wonder how many days Dad had left - until today. Now I wonder how many weeks he has left. Can you tell I am just amazed?
Geoff, Steve and Dave are putting Dad to bed right now, and I just heard a big laugh. It's been an amazingly good day after such a bad day yesterday. I just wish Jon and Jack could have been here. I am glad Mom, Geoff, Steve and Rita got to see Dad in such a relaxed and good mood.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesday - Bed Day
This was Dad's first day spent entirely in bed.
He had an awful night last night. He slept from 10-12, and maybe one more hour between midnight and 7 AM. He wanted to sit up and would not go back to sleep. We're finding out this restlessness and agitation is typical of terminally ill patients. Who knew?
He was having a lot of chest pain this morning, so after calling Hospice, we gave him a small dose of liquid morphine. Beth the visiting nurse came and we decided it was time to give Dad a catheter. He was not happy, but when all was said and done, he slept for several hours. It was a big relief for all of us. He still can forget he has it, and want to get up, but we've been able to talk him into staying in bed, so far.
Charisse came after Beth left, and as a result Dad is clean, shaved and has clean linens. He told both Charisse and Beth he appreciates their gentle manner.
Dad often has trouble finishing his sentences, as he can't come up with what he wants to say. Then he'll say, "You'll have to forgive me for being so slow, I can't think or speak coherently." All in one breath! Mostly though, he struggles, and often looks like he falls asleep, when actually he is thinking of what to say next, or what word he wants.
He has been feverish today, though seems better this evening. His face and eyelids are swollen.
I tuned in NPR on his bedside radio this evening. He wants to hear how the rescue of the miners is going.
We got out of the house in shifts today. Uncle Jack and I went for a nice walk, Jon was able to have lunch with his client and friend Anna, Dave and Geoff went to the store and ordered new tires for Dave's car, then later helped Molly put up a curtain rod in Cole's bedroom. The one thing we didn't accomplish was to let Jon have a nap!
Even though Dad couldn't join us, Dave and I had a very pleasant dinner with Jack, Geoff and Jon. It's very rare occasions we all get together. Jack and Jon leave tomorrow, Mom is coming down for the day, and Steve and Libbie arrive Thursday. I hope Dad stays at least alert as he is now, though admittedly that is not very alert.
He was having a lot of chest pain this morning, so after calling Hospice, we gave him a small dose of liquid morphine. Beth the visiting nurse came and we decided it was time to give Dad a catheter. He was not happy, but when all was said and done, he slept for several hours. It was a big relief for all of us. He still can forget he has it, and want to get up, but we've been able to talk him into staying in bed, so far.
Charisse came after Beth left, and as a result Dad is clean, shaved and has clean linens. He told both Charisse and Beth he appreciates their gentle manner.
Dad often has trouble finishing his sentences, as he can't come up with what he wants to say. Then he'll say, "You'll have to forgive me for being so slow, I can't think or speak coherently." All in one breath! Mostly though, he struggles, and often looks like he falls asleep, when actually he is thinking of what to say next, or what word he wants.
He has been feverish today, though seems better this evening. His face and eyelids are swollen.
I tuned in NPR on his bedside radio this evening. He wants to hear how the rescue of the miners is going.
We got out of the house in shifts today. Uncle Jack and I went for a nice walk, Jon was able to have lunch with his client and friend Anna, Dave and Geoff went to the store and ordered new tires for Dave's car, then later helped Molly put up a curtain rod in Cole's bedroom. The one thing we didn't accomplish was to let Jon have a nap!
Even though Dad couldn't join us, Dave and I had a very pleasant dinner with Jack, Geoff and Jon. It's very rare occasions we all get together. Jack and Jon leave tomorrow, Mom is coming down for the day, and Steve and Libbie arrive Thursday. I hope Dad stays at least alert as he is now, though admittedly that is not very alert.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday - Geoff Arrives
We have a full house! Uncle Jack, Geoff and Jon are all here, as are Dave and I. I met Geoff at the airport shortly after noon. Dave had gone to Walmart to get more equipment, specifically a moveable handhold for the shower, and an attachment that goes on the shower nozzle so we can use a hand-held sprayer. Although yesterday we thought it was a great idea to get Dad on the shower stool and let him enjoy a shower, now we're not sure he's up to it.
What a difference a day makes. Yesterday Dad was grumpy and feisty and getting out of his chair to stand up every hour. Today he is sleepy, as sweet as he can be, and has to be pulled out of his chair. Jon was concerned that perhaps the amount of pain pills we are giving him is too much, causing his lethargy. Thank goodness we had a visit from the Hospice visiting nurse today. She was helpful in explaining what is going on and reviewing the combination of his meds. She said she can tell Dad's lethargy is not from medication, he has taken a downward turn. We certainly do not want to reduce the pain medication if it is doing its job. And we want to add whatever will make him more comfortable.
Dad had a bad night last night (and therefore so did Jon). He was up more often, talking nonsense, not wanting to go back to bed, he was anxious and restless. Who knows what was going on inside????
Dad's urine output has dropped, which probably means his kidneys are not functioning properly. His heavily bruised right arm suddenly looks worse after 10 days of getting better, it's warm and was hurting. The nurse thinks he is developing blood clots in his arm. His left leg - his swollen leg - and his left foot has gotten much worse in the last 24 hours, and his right foot is swelling, too. That is another sign of his kidneys not working.
We're changing Dad's medications slightly, changing from Xanax to Atavan (for anxiety), and adding Restoril (for sleeping). His prescription for Oxycodone will be finished tomorrow and we're substituting morphine. Every day we are reminded that even though we wish there were concrete answers and fixes for things that hurt, there are not.
Dad was very happy to see Geoff and keeps calling him his old buddy. He's told him a few times how glad he is to see him. Dad has been very nice today, with the exception of a couple of digs during dinner, but we have to assume these are, excuse the expression, brain farts. We can expect changes in personality and perhaps delusions as time goes on.
Dad has been enjoying music, listening to Uncle Jack's iPod with earphones today, and at dinner (tonight was Billboard's Country Hits, again). I'll have to check my cache of CDs to see what other gems I can find. He's heard The Mavericks, Frank Sinatra, Paolo Conte and Edith Piaf. I've got a few ideas.
Dad is very frustrated he can't read. He fell asleep as Uncle Jack was reading him an article yesterday, and today as I was reading (at his request) an article about the NY Jets. I don't think he has the concentration for a book on CD.
The Jets and Vikings are on the tube, and 3 of the 5 guys are interested. Dave and I will be headed home. Jon is playing with his iPad. Since every day is different, I'm hoping for a good night's sleep for everyone, and a great day tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.
What a difference a day makes. Yesterday Dad was grumpy and feisty and getting out of his chair to stand up every hour. Today he is sleepy, as sweet as he can be, and has to be pulled out of his chair. Jon was concerned that perhaps the amount of pain pills we are giving him is too much, causing his lethargy. Thank goodness we had a visit from the Hospice visiting nurse today. She was helpful in explaining what is going on and reviewing the combination of his meds. She said she can tell Dad's lethargy is not from medication, he has taken a downward turn. We certainly do not want to reduce the pain medication if it is doing its job. And we want to add whatever will make him more comfortable.
Dad had a bad night last night (and therefore so did Jon). He was up more often, talking nonsense, not wanting to go back to bed, he was anxious and restless. Who knows what was going on inside????
Dad's urine output has dropped, which probably means his kidneys are not functioning properly. His heavily bruised right arm suddenly looks worse after 10 days of getting better, it's warm and was hurting. The nurse thinks he is developing blood clots in his arm. His left leg - his swollen leg - and his left foot has gotten much worse in the last 24 hours, and his right foot is swelling, too. That is another sign of his kidneys not working.
We're changing Dad's medications slightly, changing from Xanax to Atavan (for anxiety), and adding Restoril (for sleeping). His prescription for Oxycodone will be finished tomorrow and we're substituting morphine. Every day we are reminded that even though we wish there were concrete answers and fixes for things that hurt, there are not.
Dad was very happy to see Geoff and keeps calling him his old buddy. He's told him a few times how glad he is to see him. Dad has been very nice today, with the exception of a couple of digs during dinner, but we have to assume these are, excuse the expression, brain farts. We can expect changes in personality and perhaps delusions as time goes on.
Dad has been enjoying music, listening to Uncle Jack's iPod with earphones today, and at dinner (tonight was Billboard's Country Hits, again). I'll have to check my cache of CDs to see what other gems I can find. He's heard The Mavericks, Frank Sinatra, Paolo Conte and Edith Piaf. I've got a few ideas.
Dad is very frustrated he can't read. He fell asleep as Uncle Jack was reading him an article yesterday, and today as I was reading (at his request) an article about the NY Jets. I don't think he has the concentration for a book on CD.
The Jets and Vikings are on the tube, and 3 of the 5 guys are interested. Dave and I will be headed home. Jon is playing with his iPad. Since every day is different, I'm hoping for a good night's sleep for everyone, and a great day tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Sunday - Football Feast
It's a football feast for football fans (Dad and Jack); Dave, Jon and I did other things. Jon and I made a quick trip to The Fresh Market then Krogers, Dave played computer solitaire while staying with the Green brothers. He had been able to make it to church this morning, while I stayed here and did laundry, gathered up the recycles, and generally putzed around Dad's house. Jon had gotten up with Dad 3 times during the night, so he still hasn't had a good solid block of sleep. He is continuing to sleep on the mattress on the floor in Dad's room.
Dad's mood/attitude has been a little different with Uncle Jack here, but it's hard to put my finger on what it is. He's been constipated and grumpy, bossy, and a little kingly. I think he is trying hard to be the tough guy in front of his brother; I acknowledge I could be completely wrong. He has complained very little about pain, and maybe he is extremely uncomfortable and doesn't want to say so. I do know he is self-conscious about having anyone help him, and I think it makes him grumpy to be this way in front of Uncle Jack. I hope he can relax a little bit and realize we all want to make things easier for him, not emasculate him.
The weather has been beautiful. Jon, Jack and I traced Dad's route for a walk this afternoon and enjoyed the scenery and breezes. I'd love to get Dad outside on his porch swing for an hour, but he hasn't been in the mood. I think if he were able to go outside, he would perk up. I know I would.
Dad's mood/attitude has been a little different with Uncle Jack here, but it's hard to put my finger on what it is. He's been constipated and grumpy, bossy, and a little kingly. I think he is trying hard to be the tough guy in front of his brother; I acknowledge I could be completely wrong. He has complained very little about pain, and maybe he is extremely uncomfortable and doesn't want to say so. I do know he is self-conscious about having anyone help him, and I think it makes him grumpy to be this way in front of Uncle Jack. I hope he can relax a little bit and realize we all want to make things easier for him, not emasculate him.
The weather has been beautiful. Jon, Jack and I traced Dad's route for a walk this afternoon and enjoyed the scenery and breezes. I'd love to get Dad outside on his porch swing for an hour, but he hasn't been in the mood. I think if he were able to go outside, he would perk up. I know I would.
Sat - Jack Arrives!
A day late and a dollar short -- Sometimes I can't get to my blog before hitting the sack. So here was yesterday's news. In a phrase - Jimbo and Jocko are together again!
Dave picked Jack up at the airport, and they arrived back at Dad's about 1:30. I missed the reunion, as I was talking to Molly's painter, getting an estimate for painting our ceilings. There was joking already going on by the time I arrived - as you can imagine. Jack brought along a stack of photos - from old ones of Grandma and Grandpa to more recent ones. I think I had seen only one of them before, so it was a real treat. We are going to scan them and then we'll be able to share.
Jon and I were able to get out for a nice walk yesterday. Today (Sunday) I want to take Jack and Jon on the mile walk Dad used to do. I don't think we'll be stopping for a beer afterwards, though.
Dad's pain seems to have leveled off. He doesn't seem to have ongoing pain, or at least he's not talking about it, but he gets sudden "grabs" in his chest. He hasn't agreed to more oxygen. I think he's "manning up" with his brother here, which is totally unnecessary when it comes to pain. But try telling Dad that!
A friend of mine brought over two big bags of food yesterday - a complete Italian dinner of pasta fagioli and a bolognese sauce, dried pasta, bread and a bottle of Marilyn Merlot! She also included a big batch of chicken and rice soup. I have some fabulous friends.
This is short; it's another day and there things to do, places to go and people to see!
Dave picked Jack up at the airport, and they arrived back at Dad's about 1:30. I missed the reunion, as I was talking to Molly's painter, getting an estimate for painting our ceilings. There was joking already going on by the time I arrived - as you can imagine. Jack brought along a stack of photos - from old ones of Grandma and Grandpa to more recent ones. I think I had seen only one of them before, so it was a real treat. We are going to scan them and then we'll be able to share.
Jon and I were able to get out for a nice walk yesterday. Today (Sunday) I want to take Jack and Jon on the mile walk Dad used to do. I don't think we'll be stopping for a beer afterwards, though.
Dad's pain seems to have leveled off. He doesn't seem to have ongoing pain, or at least he's not talking about it, but he gets sudden "grabs" in his chest. He hasn't agreed to more oxygen. I think he's "manning up" with his brother here, which is totally unnecessary when it comes to pain. But try telling Dad that!
A friend of mine brought over two big bags of food yesterday - a complete Italian dinner of pasta fagioli and a bolognese sauce, dried pasta, bread and a bottle of Marilyn Merlot! She also included a big batch of chicken and rice soup. I have some fabulous friends.
This is short; it's another day and there things to do, places to go and people to see!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Friday
Once again Dave and I are leaving Jon with Dad for the evening. I tried to insist Jon go to Molly's plush guest room, take a sleeping pill, and snooze away, but he insisted even more firmly that he wanted to stay with Dad. The very good news is that Dad was up only twice last night - a huge improvement. Let's hope this trend continues!
Dad and Jon were up and drinking coffee by the time Dave and I walked across the street for our coffee (we're at Dad's so much we moved our coffee pot over there). We didn't stay long, as we were getting ready for a Grandparents' Day program at Chase's school. Jon stayed with Dad while Dave and I met Molly and Chad at the school. It was an unbelievably cute and ambitious program and we enjoyed it so much. I took a few pictures I hope to post on Facebook before too long.
Dad had a longing for Arby's roast beef sandwiches, so we picked some up on our way home. We arrived home about noon, and we were surprised Charisse had not yet come. Just as Dad started his sandwich, she came. He ate just a little bit, not because of Charisse's arrival, but because he started having chest pains. He says he feels as though his lungs are being stretched. We gave him a pain pill, then Charisse bathed him. He felt better being nice and clean and shaved, but the chest problem continued. We hooked him up to oxygen for a while. Again he doesn't feel as though anything is happening, but we noticed he seemed to relax and be more comfortable. Was it the pain pill? The oxygen? The combination? We wish there was a nice tidy answer, but there isn't.
He asked for his pencils and paper again, and also his colored pencils. He spent almost all afternoon sketching this and that, mostly shapes, angles, perspectives, etc. but also did a detailed rendition of Jon's Owl's Nest in NOLA. He was looking at the picture in the Antique Shops & Designers magazine. I know I'm repeating myself, but considering he is nearly blind, he does quite a job.
We had the Paella Mom sent - yum - for dinner, and Dad started talking about WWII, but quit before too long, saying we don't want to hear it. That's not the case, he is the one that does not want to talk about it. That's okay. Why dredge up bad memories, especially at night?
We left as Dad was watching UConn score a touchdown to go ahead of Rutgers. Dad wanted coffee and Jon was whispering "decaf" but we didn't have any straight decaf. Dad took only a short nap this afternoon, so hopefully he, and Jon, will sleep very well tonight. Dad is really looking forward to seeing his brother tomorrow. It was a subject of conversation about 10 times today. We ALL are looking forward to seeing Uncle Jack!
Dad and Jon were up and drinking coffee by the time Dave and I walked across the street for our coffee (we're at Dad's so much we moved our coffee pot over there). We didn't stay long, as we were getting ready for a Grandparents' Day program at Chase's school. Jon stayed with Dad while Dave and I met Molly and Chad at the school. It was an unbelievably cute and ambitious program and we enjoyed it so much. I took a few pictures I hope to post on Facebook before too long.
Dad had a longing for Arby's roast beef sandwiches, so we picked some up on our way home. We arrived home about noon, and we were surprised Charisse had not yet come. Just as Dad started his sandwich, she came. He ate just a little bit, not because of Charisse's arrival, but because he started having chest pains. He says he feels as though his lungs are being stretched. We gave him a pain pill, then Charisse bathed him. He felt better being nice and clean and shaved, but the chest problem continued. We hooked him up to oxygen for a while. Again he doesn't feel as though anything is happening, but we noticed he seemed to relax and be more comfortable. Was it the pain pill? The oxygen? The combination? We wish there was a nice tidy answer, but there isn't.
He asked for his pencils and paper again, and also his colored pencils. He spent almost all afternoon sketching this and that, mostly shapes, angles, perspectives, etc. but also did a detailed rendition of Jon's Owl's Nest in NOLA. He was looking at the picture in the Antique Shops & Designers magazine. I know I'm repeating myself, but considering he is nearly blind, he does quite a job.
We had the Paella Mom sent - yum - for dinner, and Dad started talking about WWII, but quit before too long, saying we don't want to hear it. That's not the case, he is the one that does not want to talk about it. That's okay. Why dredge up bad memories, especially at night?
We left as Dad was watching UConn score a touchdown to go ahead of Rutgers. Dad wanted coffee and Jon was whispering "decaf" but we didn't have any straight decaf. Dad took only a short nap this afternoon, so hopefully he, and Jon, will sleep very well tonight. Dad is really looking forward to seeing his brother tomorrow. It was a subject of conversation about 10 times today. We ALL are looking forward to seeing Uncle Jack!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thurs. PM
It's 9:58, so I'm not breaking my new rule -- We just left Dad in Jon's capable hands. My goodness Dad was telling stories tonight, which is why we were so late leaving. He was talking about negotiating contracts with the Koreans, shopping in Bangkok, living in Malaysia, etc. It was very interesting to hear him reminiscing.
He is at a loss for specific words more often, and can have trouble putting common phrases together. He will say something like, I'm a potatoes and meat man, instead of meat and potatoes man. I think this is due more to his medication rather than a mini-stroke or something physical. We increased his pain meds, and he did seem to feel better today.
The best news is Dad is sketching again! Yesterday he asked for his pencils and paper and worked for about an hour on a couple of pictures. Today he worked for about two hours. You would be amazed at what he did, especially since he can barely see anything! Dave went out to do a few errands and got Dad some new charcoal pencils, the kind that are peeled to expose the tip, so Dad doesn't have to keep sharpening them.
Dad has been much more interested in music lately, and has enjoyed my Billboards Greatest Country Hits, The Mavericks, and Frank Sinatra. He has talked a fair amount about the genius of some people with their ability to put together notes to make beautiful music, words to make beautiful songs, and paint to make beautiful pictures.
Jon made a business trip to Charleston and stopped to see Mom for a little while. He came back loaded with food-goodies Mom sent. THANK YOU! Everything looks delicious and having meals ready-to-go is such a luxury for me. We'll be having a lot of company this weekend, and this really simplifies my days. Can't wait!
He is at a loss for specific words more often, and can have trouble putting common phrases together. He will say something like, I'm a potatoes and meat man, instead of meat and potatoes man. I think this is due more to his medication rather than a mini-stroke or something physical. We increased his pain meds, and he did seem to feel better today.
The best news is Dad is sketching again! Yesterday he asked for his pencils and paper and worked for about an hour on a couple of pictures. Today he worked for about two hours. You would be amazed at what he did, especially since he can barely see anything! Dave went out to do a few errands and got Dad some new charcoal pencils, the kind that are peeled to expose the tip, so Dad doesn't have to keep sharpening them.
Dad has been much more interested in music lately, and has enjoyed my Billboards Greatest Country Hits, The Mavericks, and Frank Sinatra. He has talked a fair amount about the genius of some people with their ability to put together notes to make beautiful music, words to make beautiful songs, and paint to make beautiful pictures.
Jon made a business trip to Charleston and stopped to see Mom for a little while. He came back loaded with food-goodies Mom sent. THANK YOU! Everything looks delicious and having meals ready-to-go is such a luxury for me. We'll be having a lot of company this weekend, and this really simplifies my days. Can't wait!
Wednesday's Report - Jon Arrives
I've imposed a new rule on myself - if I don't get to my blog before 10 PM, I'm not going to write. That was the case last night, so here it is Thursday AM and I'm writing about yesterday.
The biggest event is that Jon is here again. He had a successful trip meeting clients in Mexico on Monday and Tuesday, flew to Houston on Tuesday, then to Savannah on Wed. Dad of course was so glad to have Jon staying with him again.
Dad had a rather difficult day yesterday. He says his chest hurts, and even consented to try out the oxygen. He had the machine on for about 5 minutes before he decided it's not doing any good. It's a start, though. Charisse came to do his bath and shave, and for the first time, Dad objected. He resents not being able to do things for himself. It is a big blow to your pride to not be able to wash yourself. He eventually agreed to the bathing and felt better afterwards, but he did not enjoy it as much as he has previously. My thinking is that since Dad is eating better and feeling stronger, he is more resentful of feeling helpless. When he was weaker he was happier for the help. It's a fine line trying to be protective and helpful without making Dad feel "babied." We're all working through this.
We had a late dinner last night, after Dave brought Jon back from the airport. Dessert was a cherry pie and ice cream. We wondered if Dad would find a pit - normally, if there is even one pit in a pie, it will end up in Dad's slice. Fortunately, no pit or broken teeth last night.
Dad extended his sleeping hours between nature calls last night, which is such an improvement. He made it to 3 and even 4 hours once. I hope it keeps up.
The biggest event is that Jon is here again. He had a successful trip meeting clients in Mexico on Monday and Tuesday, flew to Houston on Tuesday, then to Savannah on Wed. Dad of course was so glad to have Jon staying with him again.
Dad had a rather difficult day yesterday. He says his chest hurts, and even consented to try out the oxygen. He had the machine on for about 5 minutes before he decided it's not doing any good. It's a start, though. Charisse came to do his bath and shave, and for the first time, Dad objected. He resents not being able to do things for himself. It is a big blow to your pride to not be able to wash yourself. He eventually agreed to the bathing and felt better afterwards, but he did not enjoy it as much as he has previously. My thinking is that since Dad is eating better and feeling stronger, he is more resentful of feeling helpless. When he was weaker he was happier for the help. It's a fine line trying to be protective and helpful without making Dad feel "babied." We're all working through this.
We had a late dinner last night, after Dave brought Jon back from the airport. Dessert was a cherry pie and ice cream. We wondered if Dad would find a pit - normally, if there is even one pit in a pie, it will end up in Dad's slice. Fortunately, no pit or broken teeth last night.
Dad extended his sleeping hours between nature calls last night, which is such an improvement. He made it to 3 and even 4 hours once. I hope it keeps up.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday
Every day is a little different. Dad woke up this morning not feeling well, usually he feels best after a rest. He did get better as the day went on though, and even insisted upon walking (with his walker) back to his room from the living room at 9:30 tonight. He said there is a little improvement in his eye, and I could tell it also because he noticed more things today - like the made-up bed on the floor of his bedroom. If I could have only one thing improve for him, it would be his eyesight.
His appetite is growing every day. It almost scares me, as I do not want him to gain weight! That's a selfish statement, because at his current weight of 237, he is difficult to help up out of a chair or bed (though he is getting better at helping himself). He ate 3 big meals, two snacks, and for dessert after dinner, 2 bowls of ice cream! I know the steriods increase his appetite, but jeez, let's not start gaining weight!
He was concerned about his rib tonight, and wanted Dave to look to see if the bruising is any worse. The bruise has gotten bigger and is growing downward - following the flow of blood thanks to gravity, I guess. He made a comment about having a tumor on his rib. I hope it doesn't make him too anxious tonight.
Charisse was supposed to come today, but when she didn't show I called Hospice. There had been a misunderstanding about which day she was supposed to come, but hopefully is straightened out. She should be coming on Tuesdays and Fridays. Dad was so looking forward to his bath. Instead, I washed him from the waist up, then soaked and scrubbed his feet and put socks on him. He felt a lot better.
I can't believe it's after 10 already. I have one more email to write, then I'm headed to bed. I'm at Dad's tonight and Dave is home.
His appetite is growing every day. It almost scares me, as I do not want him to gain weight! That's a selfish statement, because at his current weight of 237, he is difficult to help up out of a chair or bed (though he is getting better at helping himself). He ate 3 big meals, two snacks, and for dessert after dinner, 2 bowls of ice cream! I know the steriods increase his appetite, but jeez, let's not start gaining weight!
He was concerned about his rib tonight, and wanted Dave to look to see if the bruising is any worse. The bruise has gotten bigger and is growing downward - following the flow of blood thanks to gravity, I guess. He made a comment about having a tumor on his rib. I hope it doesn't make him too anxious tonight.
Charisse was supposed to come today, but when she didn't show I called Hospice. There had been a misunderstanding about which day she was supposed to come, but hopefully is straightened out. She should be coming on Tuesdays and Fridays. Dad was so looking forward to his bath. Instead, I washed him from the waist up, then soaked and scrubbed his feet and put socks on him. He felt a lot better.
I can't believe it's after 10 already. I have one more email to write, then I'm headed to bed. I'm at Dad's tonight and Dave is home.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Steve & Libbie Leave
The nights and mornings are falling into a routine. Unfortunately, Dad is still getting up every 1-2 hours, in fact when looking at Steve's notes, I saw Dad did not sleep for a whole two-hour stretch at all. Steve slept on the mattress on the floor in Dad's room, and helped him with his nature calls. I know Steve was tired! Libbie slept better in the bedroom furthest away from Dad's (though it is not far at all) which was great because she was going to be doing the driving today.
Libbie was hard at work in the kitchen this morning, making biscuits (okay, they were Pillsbury, but that's exactly what we wanted), fried eggs, cheese grits, and slices of Honey Baked Ham. Dad had a bowl of cantaloupe in addition to his plate of food. Lib and I were able to take a short walk, and I showed her where Dad would walk his mile every day. We saw lots of turtles but no alligators, though we did see two yesterday. Steve and Libbie packed up the car and left after big hugs and tears. On my part. I was so appreciative of their help.
Dad had yet another Creme Horn for a snack. I told him they were getting stale, but he didn't care. Lunch was a cheeseburger Dave brought home from McDonald's, and later Dad had a snack of chips. Last week he had no appetite, this week he is outdoing us all (which is a pretty big feat). Dinner was a rehash of a few nights ago - corned beef and cabbage, carrots, potatoes and bread, with strawberries and ice cream for dessert. Whew.
At breakfast, Dad decided to join us at the table, and it worked really well to have him in the wheelchair because it fits perfectly under the table. He did the same at dinner. It's much nicer to have him at the table with us.
Beth, the visiting Hospice nurse, came in the early afternoon, and I talked to her about Dad's feeling there wasn't enough air in the room. She said that is a common symptom and it even has a name, air hunger. She listened to his lungs, and said one sounds good but the other does not. She ordered oxygen, which arrived just as she was leaving. Dad wants nothing to do with it. I do understand it must make him feel like even more of a patient, or even sicker than he feels, because it has those green tubes that go in your nose and hang around your ears. We tried to tell him it might make him feel better. He's not ready for it, and so be it. I would rather have it sit there until or if he is ready for it, than need it and not have it.
Dad is very tired of being sick, and he wants to get better. Seeing things like oxygen tanks coming into the house is not a good sign for him. I've told him it is completely optional, and he doesn't have to use it if he doesn't want to. He was not happy, and I get that.
Molly came by this afternoon with a lasagna - yum! - and it's in the freezer for our next visitors. Chad came by on his way home from jury duty (having found a guy arrested for DUI guilty). He was interested in the football game tonight and said he'd be back later.
I put a foam "egg crate" on Dad's bed, as he complained about it not being comfortable yesterday (for the first time). It is an adjustable bed, and we're trying different positions to see what feels best for him.
His arm continues to improve, but it is now black and blue all the way down to his hand, and his hand is swollen. The blood is draining down since he can't keep it elevated. It should get better over time, though.
He thinks there is a minute improvement in his right eye, where he had the injection. He was able to read the time on his watch a couple times today. That is a much needed positive sign!
Dave is staying with Dad tonight, and I'm home. When I left, it was just as it should be - three guys getting ready for the kickoff between the New England Patriots and the Miami Dolphins. Two were drinking beer, and one had his Tervis Tumbler with a lobster on it, full of ice water. Goodnight!
Libbie was hard at work in the kitchen this morning, making biscuits (okay, they were Pillsbury, but that's exactly what we wanted), fried eggs, cheese grits, and slices of Honey Baked Ham. Dad had a bowl of cantaloupe in addition to his plate of food. Lib and I were able to take a short walk, and I showed her where Dad would walk his mile every day. We saw lots of turtles but no alligators, though we did see two yesterday. Steve and Libbie packed up the car and left after big hugs and tears. On my part. I was so appreciative of their help.
Dad had yet another Creme Horn for a snack. I told him they were getting stale, but he didn't care. Lunch was a cheeseburger Dave brought home from McDonald's, and later Dad had a snack of chips. Last week he had no appetite, this week he is outdoing us all (which is a pretty big feat). Dinner was a rehash of a few nights ago - corned beef and cabbage, carrots, potatoes and bread, with strawberries and ice cream for dessert. Whew.
At breakfast, Dad decided to join us at the table, and it worked really well to have him in the wheelchair because it fits perfectly under the table. He did the same at dinner. It's much nicer to have him at the table with us.
Beth, the visiting Hospice nurse, came in the early afternoon, and I talked to her about Dad's feeling there wasn't enough air in the room. She said that is a common symptom and it even has a name, air hunger. She listened to his lungs, and said one sounds good but the other does not. She ordered oxygen, which arrived just as she was leaving. Dad wants nothing to do with it. I do understand it must make him feel like even more of a patient, or even sicker than he feels, because it has those green tubes that go in your nose and hang around your ears. We tried to tell him it might make him feel better. He's not ready for it, and so be it. I would rather have it sit there until or if he is ready for it, than need it and not have it.
Dad is very tired of being sick, and he wants to get better. Seeing things like oxygen tanks coming into the house is not a good sign for him. I've told him it is completely optional, and he doesn't have to use it if he doesn't want to. He was not happy, and I get that.
Molly came by this afternoon with a lasagna - yum! - and it's in the freezer for our next visitors. Chad came by on his way home from jury duty (having found a guy arrested for DUI guilty). He was interested in the football game tonight and said he'd be back later.
I put a foam "egg crate" on Dad's bed, as he complained about it not being comfortable yesterday (for the first time). It is an adjustable bed, and we're trying different positions to see what feels best for him.
His arm continues to improve, but it is now black and blue all the way down to his hand, and his hand is swollen. The blood is draining down since he can't keep it elevated. It should get better over time, though.
He thinks there is a minute improvement in his right eye, where he had the injection. He was able to read the time on his watch a couple times today. That is a much needed positive sign!
Dave is staying with Dad tonight, and I'm home. When I left, it was just as it should be - three guys getting ready for the kickoff between the New England Patriots and the Miami Dolphins. Two were drinking beer, and one had his Tervis Tumbler with a lobster on it, full of ice water. Goodnight!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Sunday - Family Day
Everyone was up relatively early today. The "We're Up" signal - outdoor lights get turned off - was done about 8 AM so I went to Dad's with a pot of coffee. We had told Steve and Libbie that Dad gets up every 1-2 hours, and Steve was so concerned he wouldn't hear Dad if he called, he ended up sleeping on the floor in Dad's room. We had put a love seat in there for a little nap, but of course it was too small to sleep on. Today Libbie and I moved out the loveseat and Dave put a twin mattress on the floor. Steve is planning to sleep there tonight. What a guy.
Libbie made a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, grits and blueberry muffins and Dad enjoyed every bite (as did the rest of us). Lib and I managed to get a good walk in while Dave went to church, Dad snoozed, and Steve caught a cat nap. We woke Dad up for lunch, then it was football time. Dad and Steve watched the Falcons and were happy with the last seconds win. After that, Dad wanted to listen to music, so I brought some of his favorites from my house and he nodded his head along to The Mavericks and Paolo Conte.
Molly and Coleman came for a visit and stayed for dinner. Libbie brought spaghetti and made a great salad. We encouraged Dad to come to the table, but he was more comfortable in the Big Blue Chair. It was not great to have the rest of us at the table and Dad by himself, so we will make sure someone sits closer to him during meals.
After dinner we started in on the storytelling - the bear in our camp in Glacier National Park, the visit to the Jack Greens in Casper, WY, the hunt for the petrified forest, the mine exploration by Dad and Steve outside El Paso, the burning tumbleweeds in Moses Lake, the hot hot hot chili in Denver, Jon smoking in the basement in Danvers, the Hookie stories --- we were all laughing. I haven't seen Dad laugh for a month now, and it was good medicine!
Dad was complaining of "not enough air" in his bedroom to Dave, which I didn't know until tonight. He mentioned it 3 times. We made sure the A/C and the ceiling fan in his room were on. Of course this sort of comment makes us wonder if he is beginning to have breathing problems. The nurse told us he is probably going to need oxygen at some point. We will bring up the subject at her visit tomorrow.
Dad was more alert this afternoon and evening, and had plenty to add to our numerous tales, so it was a very good way to end the day.
Libbie made a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, grits and blueberry muffins and Dad enjoyed every bite (as did the rest of us). Lib and I managed to get a good walk in while Dave went to church, Dad snoozed, and Steve caught a cat nap. We woke Dad up for lunch, then it was football time. Dad and Steve watched the Falcons and were happy with the last seconds win. After that, Dad wanted to listen to music, so I brought some of his favorites from my house and he nodded his head along to The Mavericks and Paolo Conte.
Molly and Coleman came for a visit and stayed for dinner. Libbie brought spaghetti and made a great salad. We encouraged Dad to come to the table, but he was more comfortable in the Big Blue Chair. It was not great to have the rest of us at the table and Dad by himself, so we will make sure someone sits closer to him during meals.
After dinner we started in on the storytelling - the bear in our camp in Glacier National Park, the visit to the Jack Greens in Casper, WY, the hunt for the petrified forest, the mine exploration by Dad and Steve outside El Paso, the burning tumbleweeds in Moses Lake, the hot hot hot chili in Denver, Jon smoking in the basement in Danvers, the Hookie stories --- we were all laughing. I haven't seen Dad laugh for a month now, and it was good medicine!
Dad was complaining of "not enough air" in his bedroom to Dave, which I didn't know until tonight. He mentioned it 3 times. We made sure the A/C and the ceiling fan in his room were on. Of course this sort of comment makes us wonder if he is beginning to have breathing problems. The nurse told us he is probably going to need oxygen at some point. We will bring up the subject at her visit tomorrow.
Dad was more alert this afternoon and evening, and had plenty to add to our numerous tales, so it was a very good way to end the day.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Steve & Libbie Arrive
Our days are starting to get into a routine - with the exception of who our visitors are for the day.
After being up every 1-2 hours last night, Dad slept from 5:30 AM to 8:30 AM. It takes quite a while for the morning routine, as he moves all his limbs around, swivels his back, takes his pills, gets cleaned up, etc. etc. He used his walker to get to the living room, then sat down for a breakfast of cantaloupe and French toast. We found another big bruise on Dad - approx. where his fractured rib is - and it is the size of a person's hand. We have no idea what caused it.
He took a little snooze, then Libbie and Steve arrived about noon, being nice enough to call ahead and ask if we needed anything from the grocery store. Dad was asking for SOS (chipped beef on toast) so they picked some up, as well as ice cream and some frozen dinners. Libbie also brought a cooler full of groceries - Honey Baked Ham, spaghetti sauce and pasta, and I'm sorry but I'm drawing a blank on her other goodies.
We had leftovers from our previous night's dinner (corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots) for lunch, and Dad ate a good bit. His snack was another Creme Horn, and later Jello and whipped cream. Even with a lot of college ball on tv, he took another nap.
Molly stopped by to say hello. She was on her way to Dinner Club, without her hubby who had gotten called into work. The boys were home with their wonderful sitter.
Dinner was the ham, sweet potatoes, tortellini salad, beans and rolls. Once again, immediately after dinner, Dad was ready for bed. We had a bit of a late dinner, and tried to draw out the bedtime, but by 8 PM Dad was all snug in his bed with the UGA game on the radio. I turned it off 20 minutes later, as he had fallen asleep.
Dad says he does not feel well, and said he had a headache tonight, but at other times (especially after eating) he says he feels better. He was awake more today than yesterday, I'm sure because Steve regaled him with stories and Libbie kept a lively conversation going. We've warned Steve & Lib that Dad will be up often, but they can nap when he does tomorrow.
After being up every 1-2 hours last night, Dad slept from 5:30 AM to 8:30 AM. It takes quite a while for the morning routine, as he moves all his limbs around, swivels his back, takes his pills, gets cleaned up, etc. etc. He used his walker to get to the living room, then sat down for a breakfast of cantaloupe and French toast. We found another big bruise on Dad - approx. where his fractured rib is - and it is the size of a person's hand. We have no idea what caused it.
He took a little snooze, then Libbie and Steve arrived about noon, being nice enough to call ahead and ask if we needed anything from the grocery store. Dad was asking for SOS (chipped beef on toast) so they picked some up, as well as ice cream and some frozen dinners. Libbie also brought a cooler full of groceries - Honey Baked Ham, spaghetti sauce and pasta, and I'm sorry but I'm drawing a blank on her other goodies.
We had leftovers from our previous night's dinner (corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots) for lunch, and Dad ate a good bit. His snack was another Creme Horn, and later Jello and whipped cream. Even with a lot of college ball on tv, he took another nap.
Molly stopped by to say hello. She was on her way to Dinner Club, without her hubby who had gotten called into work. The boys were home with their wonderful sitter.
Dinner was the ham, sweet potatoes, tortellini salad, beans and rolls. Once again, immediately after dinner, Dad was ready for bed. We had a bit of a late dinner, and tried to draw out the bedtime, but by 8 PM Dad was all snug in his bed with the UGA game on the radio. I turned it off 20 minutes later, as he had fallen asleep.
Dad says he does not feel well, and said he had a headache tonight, but at other times (especially after eating) he says he feels better. He was awake more today than yesterday, I'm sure because Steve regaled him with stories and Libbie kept a lively conversation going. We've warned Steve & Lib that Dad will be up often, but they can nap when he does tomorrow.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Up and Down
Yesterday was up the ladder, today was one step forward and a half step back. The step up is that Dad's arm continues to improve. He has much less swelling and a little more range of motion. It looks as though he was hit by a car, but there was a bit of improvement.
Otherwise, he had a slightly down day. We woke him up at 10:30 when Charisse arrived. He had been up 6 times during the night, then slept soundly from 6:30-10:30 AM. He was very grateful for Charisse's bath, shampoo and shave, he put on clean clothes and used his walker to get to the living room. The effort exhausted him. He had a good breakfast and felt a touch better, and fell asleep. Dad just wasn't feeling well, but had no specific complaints. He slept most of the day.
Dave made corned beef and cabbage in the crock pot with potatoes and carrots for dinner. Dad ate a small portion of each, but all together it was a good plate full. He even had ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert, then wanted to head to bed again.
We've been a little concerned about his sleeping routine, as he is up every 1-2 hours at night, but can sleep 3-4 hours at a time during the day. We don't know if it is because his chair is more comfortable than his bed, if something presses on his bladder while in bed, or ??? The visiting nurse came today and we reviewed his meds and this sleep problem. She thought perhaps his constipation bothers him more at night. Maybe he will sleep better tonight. Dave is staying with him, and I am home.
Geoff called and Dad was very glad to talk to him, but felt badly that he didn't have more to say. His brain is working quite well, but he is very slow to answer questions or make decisions. Tonight I read him a story about Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis & Clark fame) from the Wall St. Journal - his descendants want to exhume his body to see if it can be determined whether he committed suicide or was murdered. When I got to the part about Lewis having two bullets in his body, one in the chest and one in the head, Dad said, "I always wondered about that - why would a marksman like Lewis need two bullets to shoot himself? And how could someone shoot themselves twice?" I had never even known there was a mystery about Lewis' death, much less that it was from a gun.
I made a comment yesterday about how we kids would joke that when Dad was driving, the car automatically turned into bakeries, when Mom was driving it would turn into antique shops. Dad said, Yes and my favorite snack was Creme Horns. Today, Dave was going to buy some more sheets, a thermal cup, etc. and asked Dad if he needed anything. Dad said, See if you can find some Creme Horns. Thank goodness, Dave found some! Dad had a Creme Horn and a milkshake for his snack. The brain is good! Just a little slow these days.
Otherwise, he had a slightly down day. We woke him up at 10:30 when Charisse arrived. He had been up 6 times during the night, then slept soundly from 6:30-10:30 AM. He was very grateful for Charisse's bath, shampoo and shave, he put on clean clothes and used his walker to get to the living room. The effort exhausted him. He had a good breakfast and felt a touch better, and fell asleep. Dad just wasn't feeling well, but had no specific complaints. He slept most of the day.
Dave made corned beef and cabbage in the crock pot with potatoes and carrots for dinner. Dad ate a small portion of each, but all together it was a good plate full. He even had ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert, then wanted to head to bed again.
We've been a little concerned about his sleeping routine, as he is up every 1-2 hours at night, but can sleep 3-4 hours at a time during the day. We don't know if it is because his chair is more comfortable than his bed, if something presses on his bladder while in bed, or ??? The visiting nurse came today and we reviewed his meds and this sleep problem. She thought perhaps his constipation bothers him more at night. Maybe he will sleep better tonight. Dave is staying with him, and I am home.
Geoff called and Dad was very glad to talk to him, but felt badly that he didn't have more to say. His brain is working quite well, but he is very slow to answer questions or make decisions. Tonight I read him a story about Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis & Clark fame) from the Wall St. Journal - his descendants want to exhume his body to see if it can be determined whether he committed suicide or was murdered. When I got to the part about Lewis having two bullets in his body, one in the chest and one in the head, Dad said, "I always wondered about that - why would a marksman like Lewis need two bullets to shoot himself? And how could someone shoot themselves twice?" I had never even known there was a mystery about Lewis' death, much less that it was from a gun.
I made a comment yesterday about how we kids would joke that when Dad was driving, the car automatically turned into bakeries, when Mom was driving it would turn into antique shops. Dad said, Yes and my favorite snack was Creme Horns. Today, Dave was going to buy some more sheets, a thermal cup, etc. and asked Dad if he needed anything. Dad said, See if you can find some Creme Horns. Thank goodness, Dave found some! Dad had a Creme Horn and a milkshake for his snack. The brain is good! Just a little slow these days.
Posting Problems
I'm having wifi-internet problems. "Climbing Up the Ladder" was Thurdsay evening's (9/30) post.
Climbing Up the Ladder
When Dad woke up after his morning nap, he called, Is anyone home? I went in to see him, and he immediately said he feels better and is "climbing up the ladder." He had a pretty good day, eating a big breakfast, a light lunch, a milk shake and potato chips for a snack (there's still part of me that says, No No No, but I silenced it), and an egg, bacon, toast and grits for dinner. Dad had slept most of the morning after being up every hour from 1:30-5:30 AM. That of course meant Jon was up, too. Dave and I came over about 8 AM, and woke them up. We didn't mean to! We have to create a code for "C'mon In" otherwise Stay Out, We're Sleeping.
Jon left today and I can't even think about it without getting tears in my eyes. He is so good with Dad.
Dave took Jon to the airport and did errands and grocery shopping on the way home. I brought my ironing over and made a good dent in it while Dad watched TV. He was sleepy, but I kept trying to talk to him, as did Dave, to keep him awake. I really hope he sleeps through the night tonight, or at least with fewer interruptions. He has had his pain pills, eye drops, and we added an anti-anxiety pill to help stop the nightmares. He doesn't really talk about them, but he did tell Jon one of them was about pirates. Hmmm I think this is payback for all the pirate stories he and Uncle Jack used to tell us when we were kids. I have to say I don't remember them as being scary, though, just very adventurous. He and Jack were great story tellers, but I'm sure all you Green kids will remember that Grandpa was the best! All those stories about Brer Rabbit were my favorites.
It was a quiet day today - no outside appointments and no visiting nurses. Cherisse comes tomorrow, Dad will be glad to know. We've asked her to come twice a week, though Dad may want to opt for 3 times. We'll see.
Molly dropped by to say hello. I had been telling her I can't remember anything unless I write it down, and that I brought a notebook here so I won't forget when I gave Dad his meds, or anything else I need to track. She brought me an At-A-Glance calendar/notebook, with 2 days per page and lots of writing room. Their slogan is: Plan, Write, Remember. Thank you Molly!
I think Dad is trying to sort out his future. Is it possible for anyone? This morning he was talking about dying - how he can't believe he didn't die in the last few days. I said you must still have something to do here on earth. He said, I guess so.
Dave made a ramp for the wheelchair this afternoon. There is only one step between the house and the sidewalk, but it is still hard to navigate with a chair. Dad heard the banging and asked about it. When I told him about the ramp, he said, I'm not going to need that chair very much longer, I am climbing up the ladder! I'm very relieved he is feeling much better.
And on that note, I'm going to try to fall asleep early. I have a feeling I'll be up early early tomorrow.
Jon left today and I can't even think about it without getting tears in my eyes. He is so good with Dad.
Dave took Jon to the airport and did errands and grocery shopping on the way home. I brought my ironing over and made a good dent in it while Dad watched TV. He was sleepy, but I kept trying to talk to him, as did Dave, to keep him awake. I really hope he sleeps through the night tonight, or at least with fewer interruptions. He has had his pain pills, eye drops, and we added an anti-anxiety pill to help stop the nightmares. He doesn't really talk about them, but he did tell Jon one of them was about pirates. Hmmm I think this is payback for all the pirate stories he and Uncle Jack used to tell us when we were kids. I have to say I don't remember them as being scary, though, just very adventurous. He and Jack were great story tellers, but I'm sure all you Green kids will remember that Grandpa was the best! All those stories about Brer Rabbit were my favorites.
It was a quiet day today - no outside appointments and no visiting nurses. Cherisse comes tomorrow, Dad will be glad to know. We've asked her to come twice a week, though Dad may want to opt for 3 times. We'll see.
Molly dropped by to say hello. I had been telling her I can't remember anything unless I write it down, and that I brought a notebook here so I won't forget when I gave Dad his meds, or anything else I need to track. She brought me an At-A-Glance calendar/notebook, with 2 days per page and lots of writing room. Their slogan is: Plan, Write, Remember. Thank you Molly!
I think Dad is trying to sort out his future. Is it possible for anyone? This morning he was talking about dying - how he can't believe he didn't die in the last few days. I said you must still have something to do here on earth. He said, I guess so.
Dave made a ramp for the wheelchair this afternoon. There is only one step between the house and the sidewalk, but it is still hard to navigate with a chair. Dad heard the banging and asked about it. When I told him about the ramp, he said, I'm not going to need that chair very much longer, I am climbing up the ladder! I'm very relieved he is feeling much better.
And on that note, I'm going to try to fall asleep early. I have a feeling I'll be up early early tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)