Tuesday - Bed Day

This was Dad's first day spent entirely in bed.

He had an awful night last night.  He slept from 10-12, and maybe one more hour between midnight and 7 AM.  He wanted to sit up and would not go back to sleep.  We're finding out this restlessness and agitation is typical of terminally ill patients.  Who knew?

He was having a lot of chest pain this morning, so after calling Hospice, we gave him a small dose of liquid morphine.  Beth the visiting nurse came and we decided it was time to give Dad a catheter.  He was not happy, but when all was said and done, he slept for several hours.  It was a big relief for all of us.  He still can forget he has it, and want to get up, but we've been able to talk him into staying in bed, so far.

Charisse came after Beth left, and as a result Dad is clean, shaved and has clean linens.  He told both Charisse and Beth he appreciates their gentle manner.

Dad often has trouble finishing his sentences, as he can't come up with what he wants to say.  Then he'll say, "You'll have to forgive me for being so slow, I can't think or speak coherently."  All in one breath!  Mostly though, he struggles, and often looks like he falls asleep, when actually he is thinking of what to say next, or what word he wants.

He has been feverish today, though seems better this evening.  His face and eyelids are swollen.

I tuned in NPR on his bedside radio this evening.  He wants to hear how the rescue of the miners is going.

We got out of the house in shifts today.  Uncle Jack and I went for a nice walk, Jon was able to have lunch with his client and friend Anna, Dave and Geoff went to the store and ordered new tires for Dave's car, then later helped Molly put up a curtain rod in Cole's bedroom.  The one thing we didn't accomplish was to let Jon have a nap!

Even though Dad couldn't join us, Dave and I had a very pleasant dinner with Jack, Geoff and Jon.  It's very rare occasions we all get together.  Jack and Jon leave tomorrow, Mom is coming down for the day, and Steve and Libbie arrive Thursday.  I hope Dad stays at least alert as he is now, though admittedly that is not very alert.

Monday - Geoff Arrives

We have a full house!  Uncle Jack, Geoff and Jon are all here, as are Dave and I.  I met Geoff at the airport shortly after noon.  Dave had gone to Walmart to get more equipment, specifically a moveable handhold for the shower, and an attachment that goes on the shower nozzle so we can use a hand-held sprayer.  Although yesterday we thought it was a great idea to get Dad on the shower stool and let him enjoy a shower, now we're not sure he's up to it.

What a difference a day makes.  Yesterday Dad was grumpy and feisty and getting out of his chair to stand up every hour.  Today he is sleepy, as sweet as he can be, and has to be pulled out of his chair.  Jon was concerned that perhaps the amount of pain pills we are giving him is too much, causing his lethargy.  Thank goodness we had a visit from the Hospice visiting nurse today.  She was helpful in explaining what is going on and reviewing the combination of his meds.  She said she can tell Dad's lethargy is not from medication, he has taken a downward turn.  We certainly do not want to reduce the pain medication if it is doing its job.  And we want to add whatever will make him more comfortable.

Dad had a bad night last night (and therefore so did Jon).  He was up more often, talking nonsense, not wanting to go back to bed, he was anxious and restless.  Who knows what was going on inside????

Dad's urine output has dropped, which probably means his kidneys are not functioning properly.  His heavily bruised right arm suddenly looks worse after 10 days of getting better, it's warm and was hurting.  The nurse thinks he is developing blood clots in his arm.  His left leg - his swollen leg - and his left foot has gotten much worse in the last 24 hours, and his right foot is swelling, too.  That is another sign of his kidneys not working.

We're changing Dad's medications slightly, changing from Xanax to Atavan (for anxiety), and adding Restoril (for sleeping).  His prescription for Oxycodone will be finished tomorrow and we're substituting morphine.  Every day we are reminded that even though we wish there were concrete answers and fixes for things that hurt, there are not.

Dad was very happy to see Geoff and keeps calling him his old buddy.  He's told him a few times how glad he is to see him.  Dad has been very nice today, with the exception of  a couple of digs during dinner, but we have to assume these are, excuse the expression, brain farts.  We can expect changes in personality and perhaps delusions as time goes on.

Dad has been enjoying music, listening to Uncle Jack's iPod with earphones today, and at dinner (tonight was Billboard's Country Hits, again).  I'll have to check my cache of CDs to see what other gems I can find.  He's heard The Mavericks, Frank Sinatra, Paolo Conte and Edith Piaf.  I've got a few ideas.

Dad is very frustrated he can't read.  He fell asleep as Uncle Jack was reading him an article yesterday, and today as I was reading (at his request) an article about the NY Jets.  I don't think he has the concentration for a book on CD.

The Jets and Vikings are on the tube, and 3 of the 5 guys are interested.  Dave and I will be headed home.  Jon is playing with his iPad.  Since every day is different, I'm hoping for a good night's sleep for everyone, and a great day tomorrow.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Sunday - Football Feast

It's a football feast for football fans (Dad and Jack); Dave, Jon and I did other things.  Jon and I made a quick trip to The Fresh Market then Krogers, Dave played computer solitaire while staying with the Green brothers.  He had been able to make it to church this morning, while I stayed here and did laundry, gathered up the recycles, and generally putzed around Dad's house.   Jon had gotten up with Dad 3 times during the night, so he still hasn't had a good solid block of sleep.  He is continuing to sleep on the mattress on the floor in Dad's room.

Dad's mood/attitude has been a little different with Uncle Jack here, but it's hard to put my finger on what it is.  He's been constipated and grumpy, bossy, and a little kingly.  I think he is trying hard to be the tough guy in front of his brother; I acknowledge I could be completely wrong.  He has complained very little about pain, and maybe he is extremely uncomfortable and doesn't want to say so.  I do know he is self-conscious about having anyone help him, and I think it makes him grumpy to be this way in front of Uncle Jack.  I hope he can relax a little bit and realize we all want to make things easier for him, not emasculate him.

The weather has been beautiful.  Jon, Jack and I traced Dad's route for a walk this afternoon and enjoyed the scenery and breezes.  I'd love to get Dad outside on his porch swing for an hour, but he hasn't been in the mood.  I think if he were able to go outside, he would perk up.  I know I would.

Sat - Jack Arrives!

A day late and a dollar short -- Sometimes I can't get to my blog before hitting the sack.  So here was yesterday's news.  In a phrase - Jimbo and Jocko are together again!

Dave picked Jack up at the airport, and they arrived back at Dad's about 1:30.  I missed the reunion, as I was talking to Molly's painter, getting an estimate for painting our ceilings.  There was joking already going on by the time I arrived - as you can imagine.  Jack brought along a stack of photos - from old ones of Grandma and Grandpa to more recent ones.  I think I had seen only one of them before, so it was a real treat.  We are going to scan them and then we'll be able to share.

Jon and I were able to get out for a nice walk yesterday.  Today (Sunday) I want to take Jack and Jon on the mile walk Dad used to do.  I don't think we'll be stopping for a beer afterwards, though.

Dad's pain seems to have leveled off.  He doesn't seem to have ongoing pain, or at least he's not talking about it, but he gets sudden "grabs" in his chest.  He hasn't agreed to more oxygen.  I think he's "manning up" with his brother here, which is totally unnecessary when it comes to pain.  But try telling Dad that!

A friend of mine brought over two big bags of food yesterday - a complete Italian dinner of pasta fagioli and a bolognese sauce, dried pasta, bread and a bottle of Marilyn Merlot!  She also included a big batch of chicken and rice soup.  I have some fabulous friends.

This is short; it's another day and there things to do, places to go and people to see!

Friday

Once again Dave and I are leaving Jon with Dad for the evening.  I tried to insist Jon go to Molly's plush guest room, take a sleeping pill, and snooze away, but he insisted even more firmly that he wanted to stay with Dad.  The very good news is that Dad was up only twice last night - a huge improvement.  Let's hope this trend continues!

Dad and Jon were up and drinking coffee by the time Dave and I walked across the street for our coffee (we're at Dad's so much we moved our coffee pot over there).  We didn't stay long, as we were getting ready for a Grandparents' Day program at Chase's school.  Jon stayed with Dad while Dave and I met Molly and Chad at the school.  It was an unbelievably cute and ambitious program and we enjoyed it so much.  I took a few pictures I hope to post on Facebook before too long.

Dad had a longing for Arby's roast beef sandwiches, so we picked some up on our way home.  We arrived home about noon, and we were surprised Charisse had not yet come.  Just as Dad started his sandwich, she came.  He ate just a little bit, not because of Charisse's arrival, but because he started having chest pains.  He says he feels as though his lungs are being stretched.  We gave him a pain pill, then Charisse bathed him.  He felt better being nice and clean and shaved, but the chest problem continued.  We hooked him up to oxygen for a while.  Again he doesn't feel as though anything is happening, but we noticed he seemed to relax and be more comfortable.  Was it the pain pill?  The oxygen?  The combination?  We wish there was a nice tidy answer, but there isn't.

He asked for his pencils and paper again, and also his colored pencils.  He spent almost all  afternoon sketching this and that, mostly shapes, angles, perspectives, etc. but also did a detailed rendition of Jon's Owl's Nest in NOLA.  He was looking at the picture in the Antique Shops & Designers magazine.  I know I'm repeating myself, but considering he is nearly blind, he does quite a job.

We had the Paella Mom sent - yum - for dinner, and Dad started talking about WWII, but quit before too long, saying we don't want to hear it.  That's not the case, he is the one that does not want to talk about it.  That's okay.  Why dredge up bad memories, especially at night?

We left as Dad was watching UConn score a touchdown to go ahead of Rutgers.  Dad wanted coffee and Jon was whispering "decaf" but we didn't have any straight decaf.  Dad took only a short nap this afternoon, so hopefully he, and Jon, will sleep very well tonight.  Dad is really looking forward to seeing his brother tomorrow.  It was a subject of conversation about 10 times today.  We ALL are looking forward to seeing Uncle Jack!

Thurs. PM

It's 9:58, so I'm not breaking my new rule --  We just left Dad in Jon's capable hands.  My goodness Dad was telling stories tonight, which is why we were so late leaving.  He was talking about negotiating contracts with the Koreans, shopping in Bangkok, living in Malaysia, etc.  It was very interesting to hear him reminiscing.

He is at a loss for specific words more often, and can have trouble putting common phrases together.  He will say something like, I'm a potatoes and meat man, instead of meat and potatoes man.  I think this is due more to his medication rather than a mini-stroke or something physical.  We increased his pain meds, and he did seem to feel better today.

The best news is Dad is sketching again!  Yesterday he asked for his pencils and paper and worked for about an hour on a couple of pictures.  Today he worked for about two hours.  You would be amazed at what he did, especially since he can barely see anything! Dave went out to do a few errands and got Dad some new charcoal pencils, the kind that are peeled to expose the tip, so Dad doesn't have to keep sharpening them.

Dad has been much more interested in music lately, and has enjoyed my Billboards Greatest Country Hits, The Mavericks, and Frank Sinatra.  He has talked a fair amount about the genius of some people with their ability to put together notes to make beautiful music, words to make beautiful songs, and paint to make beautiful pictures.

Jon made a business trip to Charleston and stopped to see Mom for a little while.  He came back loaded with food-goodies Mom sent.  THANK YOU!  Everything looks delicious and having meals ready-to-go is such a luxury for me.  We'll be having a lot of company this weekend, and this really simplifies my days.  Can't wait!

Wednesday's Report - Jon Arrives

I've imposed a new rule on myself - if I don't get to my blog before 10 PM, I'm not going to write.  That was the case last night, so here it is Thursday AM and I'm writing about yesterday.

The biggest event is that Jon is here again.  He had a successful trip meeting clients in Mexico on Monday and Tuesday, flew to Houston on Tuesday, then to Savannah on Wed.  Dad of course was so glad to have Jon staying with him again.

Dad had a rather difficult day yesterday.  He says his chest hurts, and even consented to try out the oxygen.  He had the machine on for about 5 minutes before he decided it's not doing any good.  It's a start, though.  Charisse came to do his bath and shave, and for the first time, Dad objected.  He resents not being able to do things for himself.  It is a big blow to your pride to not be able to wash yourself.  He eventually agreed to the bathing and felt better afterwards, but he did not enjoy it as much as he has previously.  My thinking is that since Dad is eating better and feeling stronger, he is more resentful of feeling helpless.  When he was weaker he was happier for the help.  It's a fine line trying to be protective and helpful without making Dad feel "babied."  We're all working through this.

We had a late dinner last night, after Dave brought Jon back from the airport.  Dessert was a cherry pie and ice cream.  We wondered if Dad would find a pit - normally, if there is even one pit in a pie, it will end up in Dad's slice.  Fortunately, no pit or broken teeth last night.

Dad extended his sleeping hours between nature calls last night, which is such an improvement.  He made it to 3 and even 4 hours once.  I hope it keeps up.