Well truth be told there was no waxing done today, but Dad did have his bed bath. Charisse had hurt her back with another client (easy to see how that is possible) so we had Kim today. Dad was very happy with her care, especially when she cleaned, creamed and powdered his back. The massage therapist that was here last week called to see if Dad would like a more comprehensive service, though they cannot do much with Dad's issues, so I said yes, without consulting him. She's coming Friday. Dad tends to say no, but I am positive he would enjoy another back rub.
Dad was in bed again today, with just a few moments of sitting up on the side of the bed. We are finding it more difficult to get food or water in him. He says he wants something, but then objects when I try to give it to him. I give him the tiniest sip of water and he fusses at me for choking him. Tonight I put a straw in his mouth and said to take as much or as little as he wanted. It took time, but he finally managed to swallow a few sips.
We have to crush his pills, and I'm not sure he's getting the full amount. Tonight I gave him a couple of spoonfuls of orange Jello and Cool Whip which he liked. Then I gave him two more bites, but each had a crushed pill mixed in. He told me it tasted like sh*t. His sense of taste hasn't changed!
He now has a patch on his arm for his morphine, and we can give him boosters of liquid morphine. His urine output has decreased and it is darker.
Dad had a nice conversation with Grandpa early this morning (sometime after 3 AM). He said, Hi Dad. Yep, I'm cooking steaks. Steaks are easy to cook on the grill in my estimation. These are good looking steaks. And look at those watermelons - we're having an early season this year. Man those are good, sweet watermelons. We've been watching that patch over at Jefferson and Holly (? not sure of what name that was).
Please don't think I am making fun of Dad and his hallucinations or dreams or whatever they are. Actually, I'm very happy Dad is enjoying his time with Grandpa. Another time this morning he was talking to Bill (? don't know who that is) about strawberries, and how much he loves strawberries, and he also talked to Steve somebody and I think it was his friend Steve Lloyd.
When he is awake, Dad's conversation is not as coherent as in his dreams. I keep thinking if he has a few good minutes I'll make a quick call to Uncle Jack, but he seems to be the most lucid early in the morning. This morning about 6:30 when he was pretty good I mentioned maybe we can call Jack later and he said, Good. Then he said to get him paper and envelopes and stamps and he'll write him a letter. I asked what he wanted me to write, and he said, It seems like a long life, but it's not.
Mom left today. She kept saying she didn't help much, but you know there was never a dirty dish or messy kitchen while she was here. Plus, she made our dinners and salads which is always a relief for me. Best of all, she kept Dad laughing, which is a real skill. I don't do that so well. Tonight Dad told me he was a tough guy, and I repeated, yep you're a real tough guy (I sincerely meant it), and he told me not to be snotty. Sorry!
Dave's best friend Jimmy was here tonight, and we ate Mom's left over chicken soup, combined with some I ran over and got from Molly (since I was afraid there wasn't enough). It was a delicious dinner, and it was nice for Dave to have his buddy visiting.
I'm headed home for the evening, and leaving Dave with a zonked out Dad. I hope they both sleep well tonight!
Dad has been in this house 6 months to the day. He got his diagnosis of metastatic cancer a month ago. I'm glad he enjoyed his first 5 months!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday - Pill Crushing
There were pluses and minuses today. First (as always) the sleep report. Dad slept well for 8 hours, then was awake from 3 AM - 5 AM. Dave finally got him back to sleep, but he did his sleeping-talking routine until he was up again at 9 AM. At that point, he ate almost half a package of Instant Cream of Wheat, which was more at one sitting than he's had in 3 days. He had a couple hours nap, then Nurse Beth arrived. She usually comes on Tuesday, but since we had called Hospice about Dad having trouble swallowing, she came to see him.
We're going to change his morphine pills to a patch, and she said we could crush the rest of his pills, and put them in pudding, or whatever he can swallow.
Although Dad did sit up today with his legs hanging over the side, he did not get out of bed except for a minute. He insisted upon standing up, and we thought he wanted to get on the commode. (As an aside, I always hesitate to write all the details, as I do not want to forsake his privacy, so please know I am sensitive to his privacy yet I also want to explain what is going on.) Once he was standing up, he could not get his legs to move where he wanted to go, and he would not let us move him, so back on the bed he sat. Fortunately, there was no commode issue, but there will be at any time now.
I went out with Mom to buy paint today and stopped at McDonald's to get Dad a hamburger. Dave fixed him a malt, and he drank all the malt (about 4 oz.) and two tiny bits of burger. I don't think he can use his dentures any more. We tried them today, but even with a tube of Fixodent, which he normally does not use, they were flopping around. He was getting sores on his gum, which is why we left them out for a few days. He may not be able to use them again.
Dad has a new lump on the back of his neck. I showed Beth and she agreed it is probably another tumor. He often has a sore throat we think comes from sleeping with with his mouth open. He sounds hoarse and probably is very dry, but he does not want much water. He has trouble coordinating his mouth and swallowing. What I mean is, he lets me put water in his mouth, but then I have to tell him to close his mouth and swallow. Sometimes he chokes a little bit. At other times, like with his malt tonight, he swallowed just fine. He ate 3 bites of pudding (with crushed pills) and swallowed, but didn't want any more.
He was asleep before 7 again tonight. I'd better get my beauty rest, as I assume I'll be up, as Dave was last night, for a few hours in the very early morning!
We're going to change his morphine pills to a patch, and she said we could crush the rest of his pills, and put them in pudding, or whatever he can swallow.
Although Dad did sit up today with his legs hanging over the side, he did not get out of bed except for a minute. He insisted upon standing up, and we thought he wanted to get on the commode. (As an aside, I always hesitate to write all the details, as I do not want to forsake his privacy, so please know I am sensitive to his privacy yet I also want to explain what is going on.) Once he was standing up, he could not get his legs to move where he wanted to go, and he would not let us move him, so back on the bed he sat. Fortunately, there was no commode issue, but there will be at any time now.
I went out with Mom to buy paint today and stopped at McDonald's to get Dad a hamburger. Dave fixed him a malt, and he drank all the malt (about 4 oz.) and two tiny bits of burger. I don't think he can use his dentures any more. We tried them today, but even with a tube of Fixodent, which he normally does not use, they were flopping around. He was getting sores on his gum, which is why we left them out for a few days. He may not be able to use them again.
Dad has a new lump on the back of his neck. I showed Beth and she agreed it is probably another tumor. He often has a sore throat we think comes from sleeping with with his mouth open. He sounds hoarse and probably is very dry, but he does not want much water. He has trouble coordinating his mouth and swallowing. What I mean is, he lets me put water in his mouth, but then I have to tell him to close his mouth and swallow. Sometimes he chokes a little bit. At other times, like with his malt tonight, he swallowed just fine. He ate 3 bites of pudding (with crushed pills) and swallowed, but didn't want any more.
He was asleep before 7 again tonight. I'd better get my beauty rest, as I assume I'll be up, as Dave was last night, for a few hours in the very early morning!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday - A 3rd Day in Bed
Dad was in bed all day today, for the 3rd time. He has not had two days in a row in bed yet, but that may happen tomorrow. He has surprised us before, though.
I wrote my blog about 8:30 last night, wondering if we could get Dad out of his recliner. He woke up about 10 pm, and when we felt he was awake enough to help us, we got him in his wheel chair, and to the bedroom. We really had a struggle getting him into bed, as he was dog tired and couldn't even use his legs to help stand. We managed to get his pills in him over about 30 minutes. He slept well until 5 AM when he had chest and back pain, so he got a dose of his pain meds. He then "slept" until 11 AM. I put "slept" in quotation marks because it was the kind of sleep where he talks fairly constantly so I can't imagine it's good and restful. He was very slow to wake up enough to follow instructions, so it was noontime before he could eat a few bites of oatmeal and take his morning pills.
He stayed awake until about 1 PM, then slept until 4. Again, it took a long time for him to regain his senses, and he wanted to sit up on the side of his bed. We managed to get him to eat just a few bites of peaches and pears, and then some chocolate pudding. At 6:30, he was complaining of back pain, so we gave him his pills and laid him down. He was asleep before we walked down the hallway.
We don't think Dad has eaten more than 500 calories in three days. He is very weak. He imagines holding things in his hands. The good part of the day is when Mom comes up with some old stories about what they used to do, what candy they used to like, movie theaters they went to, the story about Dad being in a car accident (after a few too many you-know-whats) the night before their engagement party, which was then canceled because Dad was in the hospital. Dad laughs a lot at her stories.
Dave will be on duty tonight. Considering Dad fell asleep at 6:30, he may be in for an early AM wake up (1 AM? 2 AM?) but - what can you do but go with the flow.
I wrote my blog about 8:30 last night, wondering if we could get Dad out of his recliner. He woke up about 10 pm, and when we felt he was awake enough to help us, we got him in his wheel chair, and to the bedroom. We really had a struggle getting him into bed, as he was dog tired and couldn't even use his legs to help stand. We managed to get his pills in him over about 30 minutes. He slept well until 5 AM when he had chest and back pain, so he got a dose of his pain meds. He then "slept" until 11 AM. I put "slept" in quotation marks because it was the kind of sleep where he talks fairly constantly so I can't imagine it's good and restful. He was very slow to wake up enough to follow instructions, so it was noontime before he could eat a few bites of oatmeal and take his morning pills.
He stayed awake until about 1 PM, then slept until 4. Again, it took a long time for him to regain his senses, and he wanted to sit up on the side of his bed. We managed to get him to eat just a few bites of peaches and pears, and then some chocolate pudding. At 6:30, he was complaining of back pain, so we gave him his pills and laid him down. He was asleep before we walked down the hallway.
We don't think Dad has eaten more than 500 calories in three days. He is very weak. He imagines holding things in his hands. The good part of the day is when Mom comes up with some old stories about what they used to do, what candy they used to like, movie theaters they went to, the story about Dad being in a car accident (after a few too many you-know-whats) the night before their engagement party, which was then canceled because Dad was in the hospital. Dad laughs a lot at her stories.
Dave will be on duty tonight. Considering Dad fell asleep at 6:30, he may be in for an early AM wake up (1 AM? 2 AM?) but - what can you do but go with the flow.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday - Snore
It's college game day and Dad has slept through most of the WVU game, all of the Georgia Tech game, and he is still sleeping. It's been a 7 hour nap - so far. I woke him up an hour ago to see if he wanted anything to eat. He was so groggy he could barely sip water, but he did complain about his chest so I gave him a low dose of morphine.
He slept from 8:30 pm last night to 7 am this morning. Lib gave him his morphine at 7:30, then he slept again until 11! At that point we gave him the rest of his morning pills, some Cream of Wheat, and moved him to the BBC. He stayed awake for the first part of the WVU game, and has been out ever since.
Soooo, there's not much to write about. Libbie left about 1:30, Molly and Coleman came to visit Gramps but Gramps was not awake, and otherwise it has been a very quiet day. Mom has been doing laundry, washing dishes and reorganizing the frig. Pretty boring for her, I'm sorry to say.
It could be tough to get Dad back into bed if he can't help us, so we may leave him in the recliner. He truly seems to sleep much better in the chair than in bed, but he has objected to sleeping there. Dad has liked to maintain his routine and we've been happy to accommodate him. My only concern at this point is getting his evening pills in him, which are necessary to keep his body functioning as well as possible. We'll see what the night has to bring...
He slept from 8:30 pm last night to 7 am this morning. Lib gave him his morphine at 7:30, then he slept again until 11! At that point we gave him the rest of his morning pills, some Cream of Wheat, and moved him to the BBC. He stayed awake for the first part of the WVU game, and has been out ever since.
Soooo, there's not much to write about. Libbie left about 1:30, Molly and Coleman came to visit Gramps but Gramps was not awake, and otherwise it has been a very quiet day. Mom has been doing laundry, washing dishes and reorganizing the frig. Pretty boring for her, I'm sorry to say.
It could be tough to get Dad back into bed if he can't help us, so we may leave him in the recliner. He truly seems to sleep much better in the chair than in bed, but he has objected to sleeping there. Dad has liked to maintain his routine and we've been happy to accommodate him. My only concern at this point is getting his evening pills in him, which are necessary to keep his body functioning as well as possible. We'll see what the night has to bring...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday - Libbie & Helen are here
Libbie arrived shortly after 10 PM last night, and Mom came today, after stopping at Costco for some staples - in our house that means artichoke spinach dip and bagels. We had our usual Friday visitors as well, Beth the Hospice visiting nurse and Charisse the nurse assistant that makes sure Dad is cleaned from head to foot. Actually, she is allowed to clean only from head (including shampoo and shave) to ankles. For some reason, Hospice assistance does not include foot care. Knowing this, I gave Dad a foot bath and scrub yesterday and Dave cut his toenails.
With Beth, we discussed Dad's continuing chatter at night (last night it was from 2 AM onward) which means he is not sleeping well. Also, his gums are beginning to hurt, and Charisse found a sore spot by the catheter. Dad does not like the catheter, so having a sore spot in addition is even worse. We need to apply ointment 3 times a day to his sore, and we're going to get a denture adhesive for his gums. Beth thinks his dentures are now too loose (Dad is slowly losing weight), but the good news is he does not have thrush. She called the Hospice doctor, and we are going to replace his sleeping pill with something stronger. Sorry, I can't remember what it is, but it will arrive by FedEx either tomorrow or Monday.
Dad stayed in bed all day today, as he was very weak, and exhausted from his morning "activities" and Charisse's visit. He didn't get his morning nap, and had lots of trouble talking to Beth. He didn't sleep well in the afternoon, either, so maybe he will vacation in DreamWorld tonight. Libbie is on duty, Mom is there for reinforcements, and Dave and I will get to be in our bed tonight!
Libbie and Mom insisted Dave and I go out for dinner, and they didn't have to make that suggestion twice. We went just to the club, and ran into our neighbors from whom Dad rents his house. They already had a foursome with other neighbors, so Dave and I had a table to ourselves. We had a delicious dinner. We went back to Dad's, got him to take his pills, get his ointment, and get settled down for the night. Mom said Dad ate just a few bites of pudding for dinner (though he had had a malt before we left) and that he was more coherent with his conversation. That was good to hear. Earlier today he was saying to Beth, "Why can't I control my breath?" but what he meant was his speech - I know because he's asked me that several times. It's got to be maddening to him to have to struggle to find the right words, and to know he's having problems. I was glad to hear he was in a pretty good mood and fairly coherent while we were out. By the time Dave and I got back from dinner, he was very sleepy, so we went through his bedtime routine as quickly as we could.
Then we said goodbye to Lib and Mom. Now I'm going to hit the sack!
With Beth, we discussed Dad's continuing chatter at night (last night it was from 2 AM onward) which means he is not sleeping well. Also, his gums are beginning to hurt, and Charisse found a sore spot by the catheter. Dad does not like the catheter, so having a sore spot in addition is even worse. We need to apply ointment 3 times a day to his sore, and we're going to get a denture adhesive for his gums. Beth thinks his dentures are now too loose (Dad is slowly losing weight), but the good news is he does not have thrush. She called the Hospice doctor, and we are going to replace his sleeping pill with something stronger. Sorry, I can't remember what it is, but it will arrive by FedEx either tomorrow or Monday.
Dad stayed in bed all day today, as he was very weak, and exhausted from his morning "activities" and Charisse's visit. He didn't get his morning nap, and had lots of trouble talking to Beth. He didn't sleep well in the afternoon, either, so maybe he will vacation in DreamWorld tonight. Libbie is on duty, Mom is there for reinforcements, and Dave and I will get to be in our bed tonight!
Libbie and Mom insisted Dave and I go out for dinner, and they didn't have to make that suggestion twice. We went just to the club, and ran into our neighbors from whom Dad rents his house. They already had a foursome with other neighbors, so Dave and I had a table to ourselves. We had a delicious dinner. We went back to Dad's, got him to take his pills, get his ointment, and get settled down for the night. Mom said Dad ate just a few bites of pudding for dinner (though he had had a malt before we left) and that he was more coherent with his conversation. That was good to hear. Earlier today he was saying to Beth, "Why can't I control my breath?" but what he meant was his speech - I know because he's asked me that several times. It's got to be maddening to him to have to struggle to find the right words, and to know he's having problems. I was glad to hear he was in a pretty good mood and fairly coherent while we were out. By the time Dave and I got back from dinner, he was very sleepy, so we went through his bedtime routine as quickly as we could.
Then we said goodbye to Lib and Mom. Now I'm going to hit the sack!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thursday - Just like yesterday
No discernible changes today. Dad did not sleep as well as the previous night, and was maybe a little groggier this morning. He asked for pain medication twice before noon, but not at all after noon. He took long naps both in the morning and afternoon. The highlight of his day was when Molly and Cole stopped by. Cole immediately got out the little trucks Dad keeps, asked for cheese and crackers, and "stole" Great-Gramps' grapes out of his bowl. It was the first time I heard Dad laugh all day. He thinks Cole is the bees knees, and the cutest little guy in the world (he looks like Dad). And, Dad had a fairly coherent conversation with Molly. I believe a little change, and stimulation is good.
I try to converse with Dad, and to engage him. A couple times today I answered a question he asked and he told me he wasn't talking to me! The first time he said he was talking to himself and the second time he was talking to Wolf Blitzer.
Libbie is arriving tonight - hopefully about 10 pm. Dad was pleased to hear that, and I'm hoping she will provide a nice new distraction for him (from me).
Dad ate very little today, but loved his dinner. In an effort to find things that will "stick" to his spoon, I decided on Campbell's pot roast soup, put on top of mashed potatoes (with not much liquid). He ate it and told us it was the best meal he's has since we've been here! We hit the jackpot tonight!
I try to converse with Dad, and to engage him. A couple times today I answered a question he asked and he told me he wasn't talking to me! The first time he said he was talking to himself and the second time he was talking to Wolf Blitzer.
Libbie is arriving tonight - hopefully about 10 pm. Dad was pleased to hear that, and I'm hoping she will provide a nice new distraction for him (from me).
Dad ate very little today, but loved his dinner. In an effort to find things that will "stick" to his spoon, I decided on Campbell's pot roast soup, put on top of mashed potatoes (with not much liquid). He ate it and told us it was the best meal he's has since we've been here! We hit the jackpot tonight!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday - Hamburgers
Dad had a better sleep last night; he was up for only 1 hour between 9:30 pm and 7:30 am and he was quiet - very little of the talking he normally does. I hope that means he rested better. He had about half a breakfast, and after his morning wash and change of clothes, we took him to the living room. He slept for a few hours, had a half lunch, then slept more.
It is impossible to know what's going on in his mind, and it's very sad and frustrating for me. Not that what he does or says frustrates me, I'm frustrated he has to go through this. There are times when he talks, uses the wrong word, then immediately corrects himself, or tries to, until he gets it right. At other times, he goes in totally unexpected directions. He asked where Mom lives and I told him Charleston. He then started talking about China, and asked me why she moved to China. I reminded him it was Charleston, then he wanted to know how Charles likes his work. He meant Chad (who, for those of you who don't know him, comes from Charleston).
I was able to go out to dinner with a group of girlfriends this evening, and as I was leaving, Dad and Dave were talking about having hamburgers for dinner. After I left, Dad insisted they go out for burgers, that he could walk and he wanted to get out. Of course Dave had to convince him it wasn't possible, and he cooked burgers. It's hard to know that Dad, in his more lucid moments, is bored and wants to get out, but it just isn't possible. His fractured hip and rib, and who knows what else at this point, could break and cause a disaster. He cannot walk any more, he can only stand and take a few baby steps. I feel badly, though, that he wants to get out. I've suggested many time we at least go outside in the wheelchair, but he feels he isn't up to it.
Dad's mind goes in a thousand directions. One moment he's talking about gears and wants to know how something works, and the next he's talking about the cheap goods from China (China is on his mind these days). I keep looking for a time he could carry on at least a short conversation so I can call Uncle Jack, but it isn't happening these days.
Dad is having trouble using a spoon and fork. He can't keep soup in his spoon, and it's hard for him to spear a bite of food with his fork. He doesn't like me to help him, so I've been trying to give him small things he can pick up with his fingers. I think I'm more frustrated than he is, as he just rolls along, very slowly, talks and drinks his malts. He's generally in a good mood, not cheerful, but not depressed. Every morning he gets up and says he thinks he's a little better. I'm grateful he thinks so.
It is impossible to know what's going on in his mind, and it's very sad and frustrating for me. Not that what he does or says frustrates me, I'm frustrated he has to go through this. There are times when he talks, uses the wrong word, then immediately corrects himself, or tries to, until he gets it right. At other times, he goes in totally unexpected directions. He asked where Mom lives and I told him Charleston. He then started talking about China, and asked me why she moved to China. I reminded him it was Charleston, then he wanted to know how Charles likes his work. He meant Chad (who, for those of you who don't know him, comes from Charleston).
I was able to go out to dinner with a group of girlfriends this evening, and as I was leaving, Dad and Dave were talking about having hamburgers for dinner. After I left, Dad insisted they go out for burgers, that he could walk and he wanted to get out. Of course Dave had to convince him it wasn't possible, and he cooked burgers. It's hard to know that Dad, in his more lucid moments, is bored and wants to get out, but it just isn't possible. His fractured hip and rib, and who knows what else at this point, could break and cause a disaster. He cannot walk any more, he can only stand and take a few baby steps. I feel badly, though, that he wants to get out. I've suggested many time we at least go outside in the wheelchair, but he feels he isn't up to it.
Dad's mind goes in a thousand directions. One moment he's talking about gears and wants to know how something works, and the next he's talking about the cheap goods from China (China is on his mind these days). I keep looking for a time he could carry on at least a short conversation so I can call Uncle Jack, but it isn't happening these days.
Dad is having trouble using a spoon and fork. He can't keep soup in his spoon, and it's hard for him to spear a bite of food with his fork. He doesn't like me to help him, so I've been trying to give him small things he can pick up with his fingers. I think I'm more frustrated than he is, as he just rolls along, very slowly, talks and drinks his malts. He's generally in a good mood, not cheerful, but not depressed. Every morning he gets up and says he thinks he's a little better. I'm grateful he thinks so.
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